Happy New Year. :D Get ready to start a new decade guys. ;)

How I Spent the First Decade of the Millenium.

Well yeah. I have to do this sort of thing before the year ends. :)) so it's been like ten years since the new year i remember, i was holding a mug--the design was there were letters celebrating and they spelled out Millenium. yeah. it was still all so vivid. XD

ano na nga bang ginawa ko sa buhay ko? :)) hmmm.

• hmm. nag-aral ako for the past 10 years. <well dapat lang talaga>
• well, i learned how to write and enjoy it. :D so bale, i've been writing for 5 years. :)
• ah, for 10 years, anime lover ako! wooooo! mabuhay ang anime! XD
• I got sent to the guidance 1 time. :)
• I was late to school, how many times? Zero, beybe. XD
• Times absent? hmm. siguro mga 20 - 30 times. :) <dahil sa sakit, pagkatamad o pagddrama, o kunyari may sakit XD >
• Nagdrama nang 1000 times dahil sa pag-iisip ng course ko sa college. XD
• Been closer to God for like 4 years. <thanks to the Bible Study nila kuya paul! :) >
• Never pa nagboyfriend. <ew.> XD 
• Na-inlove nang 3 beses.
• Na-heartbroken nang 3 beses.
• Nagkacrush nang Positive-Infinity na beses. XXDD <hanggang sa loob ng anime e. XD >
• Nagbago ng hairdo 1 time. :)) yeah. ngayong fourth year lang. XD
• Nakipagsabunutan ng 1 time. XD hi to Paula dehesa. XD
• Nabangga rin ako ng bisikleta at nagkablack-eye ng isang beses. :))
• Nagtangkang maglayas ng ilang beses.
• Ginustong mamatay ng ilang beses rin. [emo XD]
• Nagkaron ng mga astig na kaibigan. :)
• Fortunately, kasama pa rin ang pamilya. :D
• Kinaya ang mga pagsubok ng buhay at humihinga pa rin hanggang ngayon.
• at, mali pala, 4 na beses akong na-inlove. :)
• Naging optimist. [sa wakas!]
• At ngayon ay medyo excited at kinakabahan sa palapit kong pagkokolehiyo. :D

I want to see the world :D 2010 would be fine start. :)

But I wont go unless you all come with me. :>

 

Happy New Year Guys! <advanced happy new year rather. :D>

I hope this would be a fine year for all of us. :)

Rational. [A Poem]

So. it's like my first poem for like months--i think a year. haha. you know, like a poem poem. :)) i guess i was too busy and all that. and frankly, the year was quite well, so i had not much to write about. :)

i wrote this because i was bored. it's been two days since the 25th [Merry Christmas!], and it has also been two days of my fever. :| i don't feel entirely well, but i guess this is better. well here it is. :)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rational
By: Blackrose

Logic. Rationality. Sense.
Think all for the sake of convenience.
Let the facts do the talking.
Let the numbers do the walking.

Bottle up emotion.



Invest in something that won't let you fall,
And never ever risk it all.
'Cause when you do, chances are,
There's a possibility to fall apart.

That is not an option.



A hundred-percent success rate.
Zero-percent unnecessary weight.
No room for uncertainty and any blind spot.
A state of security, I constantly sought.

And then I fell in love.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah. i'm that type of person. Really. i never do anything that i can't uhh, manipulate? anything that i can't ensure a great outcome. anything that i can't ever predict.

and what if that happens. i mean. WHOAH. what the hell am i supposed to do then, huh? You can't read that out from a text book or something. or calculate or anything. Well, you could conduct experiments but i think that would be just cruel :)

Things about that subject is so uncertain. I mean, you'll never know what might happen tomorrow. Pano pag nareach ko na yung point na yun? Would i risk it all for this guy that happened to trick me into falling for him? XD

I'm not the type of person who takes risks.

Well of course the answer would be like: If you love the person, trust him.


And i would just stare blankly upon hearing that.
para sa kin, mahirap kaya. =)) sa lahat ng bagay sa mundo, ayokong nasasaktan ako. [kaya nga di ako marunong maglaslas XD ]

But I do trust God. :) and i guess, if i cant trust that person, it means that i don't trust the big guy up there.

Well for the first time ever, i'm actually risking it this time. Big time.

Thoughts on Being Like THIS. [will be pouring my thoughts out. that was a warning. :))]

Okay. probably, you're all wondering what THIS means. Well THIS. uhhh. let's say i'm in a state of sheer happiness because i am...uh..what's the word... nevermind. i really really like this person. :)) and fortunately, it has been going well. :)

[dun sa mga nakakakilala, kunyari di niyo siya kilala para hindi nakakadistract. kailangan ko lang talaga mailabas tong mga nasa isip ko. :)) at hindi kami! XD at IKAW, kung babasahin mo man to, kunyari di ikaw to. feeler ka e. XD ]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thinking about this thing, i really did not expect it. alam mo yun. parang bigla na lang dadating sa buhay mo. XD I remember, nung bago magsimula yung year, i was praying to God, kung ano na mangyayari sa buhay pag-ibig ko. Tapos iniisip ko nun, siguro nasa paligid lang, di ko alam. O kaya. natraffic lang siya. :)) haha!

Nakakaaning--the whole experience just drives me nuts. Kahit anong gawin ko sa buhay ko, meron pa rin akong part na lalaki ako--like i'm not really ALL GIRL. And i'm REALLY in the stage thinking that boys are ewwwyy. XD really, i cant imagine myself going gaga over some guy. it's just disgusting. [hehehehe. no offense] and yet, ironically, i still like this guy. EWWW. katulad ng sinabi ko sa kanya nun, "I am still in shock." XDD and probably i still am. :))

It's been a learning experience actually. Well it's not the first time for me to like a guy, but it's the first time i guess, to get a positive response. Ayun. So, going back, i've experienced emotions i have never ever felt before. [The previous sentence reminds me of YOU, Kevin Hao. :"> in love din to. XDD ] Siyempre mas maganda kung inanarrate ko :))

Nagselos ako. Well. it's a terrible thing to experience. agonizing. but i got over it. :)) ang weird talaga. wala naman dapat ikaselos pero ganun pa rin. wala namang right para magselos pero ayun. well anyway, girls often feel jealous because they feel insecure. People are just like that, when they have something, they're constantly vigilant as to not lose it. [Sabi sa kin ng WGWYTK] Security is man's chiefest enemy. But i guess, trust would be the immediate remedy for this one.

Naging humble ako. Wooohooo. Sa mga nakakakilala sa akin, they probably know that my pride is one of the most valuable things to me. Ma-pride akong tao. [kapag sa sarili ko, pero kapag may nasasaktan akong iba, ibababa ko naman :)] I trust in my ability and think i can reach anything. haha! and I NEVER bow down to anyone. [na-kalevel ko :))] BUT DAMMNN! bunga ng napakaraming pang-aasar sa mundong ibabaw at ang aking uncontrollable ability to smile or laugh or whatever, GRABE! Obvious na nga ako, napapakita ko pa na siya ang weakness ko. anu ba naman yan. T_T yung inaalagaan kong pride at dignidad ay nawala. may weakness din pala ako. <except sa ipis.> ever since naman kasi, weakness ko yung mga gusto ko. eh nagkataon na ganon. Tapos sa dami ng pang-aasar na natatamo ko, marahil that guy is so full of himself and is completely satisfied. Damn it. i dont want to tolerate it, but wala kong magawa. :| <yung mga nang-aasar, sana matamaan kayo! XD >

Sa pangalawang beses sa buhay ko, di ko kayang magalit sa isang tao. Okay. sino muna yung una, siyempre si RONA ORTIZ. ILY. :)) Isang beses pa lang ako nagalit dito pero matindi noon grabe. :)) :D Anyway ayun. naaalala ko yung incident na nabadtrip ako sa kanya. <dun sa person ha, hindi si rona. :D> Nakakaasar talaga. kakausapin mo tapos parang wala lang. medyo nalimutan ko na kung bakit basta super nabadtrip ako nun. [tawagin na lang natin siya na John ha. Ang gulo na kasi nung mga pronouns at panghalip :))] So si John, nakakabadtrip. Eh di nalaman niya na badtrip ako sa kanya kasi sinabi ko. Tapos he tried to make it up to me by starting a conversation the following night. Ako naman, parang tanga. Binadtrip niya ko, edi babadtripin ko rin siya. (di ko rin siya pinansin sa school, pero feeling ko hindi niya napapansin yun. XD ) Tapos ayun. binadtrip ko siya, sabi ko, kung napipilitan lang siya, wag na niya ko kausapin. NABADTRIP SIYA nang bonggang bongga. grabe nakakatakot. :)) Di ba nga mapride ako? OO. gusto ko lang magrevenge. at kahit papano, i was pleased with the fact na nabadtrip ko rin siya. Pero kung ano mang satisfaction ang nagawa nun, it was infinitesimally small to how bad i felt. SO Ladies, i dont advise you to do that. <well if you like the guy, if you dont, uhh. go ahead? :)) XD joke> so nagsorry ako, tapos galit pa rin siya sa kin, pero sabi niya things would be fine by tomorrow. and they were. :) Tapos ngayon, parang kahit anong gawin niya, di na ko nababadtrip. di na ko naaasar o nagagalit. bahala siya sa buhay niya. =))

Naging honest ako sa feelings ko. Yeah sure, Anjilo, probably, you still think it's wrong. I'm a girl and all that. Whatever. As i've told you i'm not ALL GIRL. :)) Si louise naman din kasi nagsabi sa kin e, if you want to make things happen, dont hold anything back. So open ako sa feelings ko kay John, i mean sinasabi ko. Kung nagseselos ako, ayun sinabi ko. Kung nagagalit ako, sinabi ko rin. At kung may gusto nga ba talaga ako sa kanya, sinabi ko rin. O diba? Ang napaka-unlady-like. First of all, hindi naman kami and things like that. But i am entitled to freedom of speech right? Going back sa sinabi ni louise, hindi lang naman kasi yan applicable sa mga lalaki e. Guys walk around the earth thinking that just as long as they try, they will. And girls just have to say Yes or No. WTH. Call me liberated and untraditional but hey, ano ba, [medyo feminist ako] aren't we entitled to feel the same? Dont get me wrong, i know where my limits are, but nung sinabi ko sa kanya na gusto ko siya, i think it was just a few inches short of the boundary. Pero pasok pa rin. :)) This feeling or emotion or whatever, cannot be set by the society. There are so many unwritten rules made by invisible authors that it really bugs me. Kung tama man o mali yung ginawa ko, bahala kayo. basta masaya ako. :) I stood up for myself--ready for rejection or whatever. I guess i'm a little proud of what i did. :D <kahit mali sa iba.>

So ayun yung mga notable stuff i've experienced. Rollercoaster yan. :) It's been a pain all the way here pero it's worth it i guess. Everytime that he says that he <fine i'll use the word nga nga> loves me, it's like there's this sudden jolt of electricity that runs deep down inside and leaves you smiling. Astig. Well, Ano nga ba yung HERE? Well, frankly, i dont know. Friends kami, period. Basta, masaya ako dito. :) i dont need more or less, pero i wont mind. Wag lang muna yung more. XD

[looking back sa lahat ng sinabi ko, YUCK. KADIRI KA ABBA! EWWWW.]

God has really blessed me. :)

Sana matuto rin ako maging patient.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

salamat naman na nailabas ko to. Eh kasi naman e. kung si John ay isang tao na hindi kilala ng karamihan ay malamang matagal na kong nagpost ng ganito. pero ayun nga. andami na. :)) ang tagal ko nang hindi nagBLOG! :) i miss it so. i hope you learned something from this. :) I only posted this to my close friends. >:D< HUG guys.

MandSci's Got Talent Ultimate Showdown -- Pour Etre Belle

Okay. medyo biased yung photographer kong si Louise Mari. Puro PEB ang kinuhanan. :)) hehehe. sensya.

nakakaasar! wala akong matinong kuha! =)) anyway. eto na. :D

Reflections -- Pour Etre Belle :) [and a little something about plants :)]

Okay the previous blog was just sort of narrating the things i did, i would want to remember that someday. :))

So eto na. Bunga ng pagiisip isip and pagmumuni muni. :)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pour Etre Belle

--Hm. i will seriously miss these seven girls, plus one! :D gel, mae, sarmie, faith, mira, ananda, sharlyn and kaira. :D this was really an overwhelming experience. God has really blessed us. :D

To be honest, TRIP LANG TO. i mean, we didn't actually plan or aimed at getting into the final four. We just wanted to know what it felt like to be there. We were graduating after all. :) It was just something to get fun out of. It was seriously fun, seriously tiring, and in some times, the tension was really high. trust me, honey, you don't like it when girls are in bad moods. :))

i learned a lot about these girls. In between practices or in breaks, we'd talk about guys, or our parents, friends, problems, and it all brought us together. Yung tipong akala mo ikaw lang ang ginaganon ng magulang mo, yun pala may karamay ka! :)) haha! Late na kaming umuuwi dahil sa mga practice, nauubos ang pera dahil sa costume at dun sa collection. Nagbibihis nang harap-harapan. :)) kakaiba talaga!

it's fun finding sister in all of them.

we weren't exactly talented. I guess our talent was that when we our together, we are able to create a bulwark of confidence. When we are together, everybody shines. When we are together, we are talented. We are like pieces of one breathtaking puzzle. :D

Sure, some people didn't like us. Moreover, some people resented us and hated us. They booed us off the stage--kahit batchmate namin sila, it was a depressing thought. But fairly, i dont think it's something to be depressed about. Our classmates, family and friends were there. and that's all we needed. If other people didn't respect us, probably, other people didn't respect them as well. :) We weren't as talented as joanne verzo or as entertaining as the EKboys, but i believe, kahit ako lang, we were special in a way that i could remember it forever. :)

We had each other.
I love you Pour Etre Belle.

I will miss the times we were together--practicing, eating, making the drama, fighting, dressing up, getting psyched up and flopping and succeeding on the stage. :)

I will not lie. Pour Etre Belle could be gone forever. We are graduating after all. Siguro matagal tagal ang pagbabalik namin sa stage bilang PEB. baka nga hindi na e. Though i'm not sad.

as i've said before--LOSING SOMETHING MAKES IT MORE VALUABLE.

i could not have a lost a greater thing. :)

We could stop performing, but memories last forever. :D

Shabuya! Sha-Sha-Shabuya! Roll call!
We're PEB!
This thing was crazy!
You've watched us, baby.
I'll miss them, really.

 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, that's my Pour Etre Belle Reflection. :) sisingit lang ng isa pang reflection.
So yesterday, nagMTAP, arni and i planned to watch anime at my house but due to the unfortunate circumstances, hindi kami natuloy. The CAT officers headed off to Paolo Rodri's house to deliver the red shirts. I was supposed to go with them but i saw an offer i could not resist. :D

So ayun. nagrereview sila anjilo, louise at bruxelle sa faculty room. I saw Mr. Patron there and Mrs. Fabon. Tapos sinundan ko sila. Tapos ayun! nagtatanim sila sa likod! PLANTS! :) wow. all of the students helping them were guys. I was like: I wish I was a guy, so i could help.

So paikot-ikot ako dun sa likod. Gustong makatulong. :)) nanggugulo. :)) hhaha! sabi ko kay mam fabon, gusto kong tumulong, tapos yehey! pinayagan ako. sinabi ko kila arni hindi na ko sasama. :) edi yun, umalis na sila, <medyo gutom na ko nun dahil alauna na wala pa kong kinakain> pumunta ako sa faculty room, andun sila bruxelle. edi hinintay ko silang matapos ng two. dumating sila kathy, magSSM daw sila. edi yun. nagSM sila, hinintay akong makakain nila louise at umalis sila.

They tried to convince me to come with them because all the guys i'd be with would be like GUYS, and that i was already tired, which was true. but I really really want to plant. :)) really.

So i went back to school, i already found mam fabon, planting, i was so amazed at the simplicity of it all. how man could give life. how easy it was to support life. it was breathtaking. I watched how mam fabon do it. and i tried right after. <Except the digging part, my girlish way of holding the shovel could not really handle the rocky solid earth of Mandsci>

The mosquitoes were biting me. Things were crawling everywhere. The smell was barely tolerable. But, i really did enjoy it. Corny nga siguro pero, It was magical for me. :) ang galing talaga. The ability to nurture life was in my hands. I looked at the plants as i planted them, it felt so rewarding. <sure from time to time, naiisip ko yung photosynthesis tapos ung mga krebcycle stuff, pero most of the time i was busy thinking of how marvelous the act was>

Nakakarealize lang na, ang dali dali lang magplant, pero kahit 10% of the school, or the entire world, could not possibly volunteer to do this. a sad truth.

Syempre nagenjoy ako at naastigan ng bonggang bongga. Pero naastigan din ako sa mga nakasama ko. :)) nakilala ko sina Kenneth, Eriko, Wences, Janssen, Ylrem, Jerome and uhm, nakasama ko muli sina Eman, Stephen at Rene. at medyo andun si bruce nung una. :) rocks sila. :)) hehehe.

cant wait to be back next saturday. actually i cant wait to go back to school. :)) i want to talk to the plants---yung mga pinangalanan na Wences, at mga Eriko, mga Kenneth, haha! EEE!

seriously, i was tired then. And every time, i stood up after planting something, my vision would actually go blurry and my head would hurt, but, again, it was an offer i could not resist. :)

Ultimate Hell Week 2009 is over! :)

OKAY. late blog. medyo dapat kahapon ko pa to ginawa pero hey. :D ngayon lang ako freeeee. :D

the past week has been so hellish for me super! I mean, i had to do our documentation binder, attempt to make a script for filipino, edit the music for our MGT after practice, actually practice, keep up with my missed homework and get harassed by two teachers because of the things they asked me to do. :) SIGH. i feel like supergirl!

Monday -- the first day of the week. i didn't really stay up late the past night but i guess Monday was okay. It was the first day of practice. Got home at about 9:30. Brought a laptop, a digicam [because they told me that photoshoot for Project Citizen was today] and extra clothes.

Tuesday -- I stayed up late the past night, i got caught up in playing Plants Vs Zombies. Made homework and typed the Steps for the documentation binder--i wasn't done. I got home at 9:40something. We practiced again. I brought a laptop, a digicam [they told me the photoshoot was today] and more extra clothes.

Wednesday --I stayed up late, i slept at about 11:30pm. I hadn't had any decent sleep yet. Made homework, finished typing the steps, i received the reflection notes this day, so i was bound to NOT sleep tonight because my deadline was tomorrow. So i had to type 15 pages worth of reflection from PC members. Edit and layout pictures. attempt to make the script in filipino. Finish editing our music in MGT. We had no practice today--instead i went to SM to look for costume, i got home at about seven. I brought a laptop, a digicam [and yet again, they postponed the shoot] and brought home my books for school. Imagine that in SM! gah! ang bigat! :)) That was the freakiest day ever!

So i realized right about at eight oclock that i cannot finish my documentation binder. i was not halfway through typing all its content. I hadn't and couldn't make my script anymore. I will not meet the deadline. SOOOOO. i decided to become absent! :))

Thursday-- yeah i was absent. I slept at twelve the past night. I woke up at about nine. Best sleep of the week. :)) So when i woke up at about eightfortyfive [that rounds up to nine :))], i went out to get one piece of hotdog and went back to my room and started typing the remaining five pages of reflections. I had to layout pictures after. I finished everything at about oneoclock. I ate lunch at about one. I had told mam tirones the past night that i would go to school for half the day or whatever's left. So i did. I took a bath and raced to school at about two. The guard didnt want to let me in but luckily mam tirones did. :D i was in school uniform, BECAUSE I THOUGHT THE PHOTOSHOOT WAS TODAY. So i brought a gigantic paper bag--PEB wanted to see the costumes. I brought the laptop and digicam and my USB's. I went to the PC adviser and gave her the docbinder. Mam dolar found me and nagged me about the program i wasn't able to do yet. :| i was like dammmnnn. at about three, after i was harassed by so many people [i was welcomed in the classroom though], i went to the AVR to practice.

After school, we practiced at louise's. i went home at nine. I had to finish our music in MGT--i put it off for the documentation binder. I slept at one. :O it was the night before the final night! :)) and i was so tired! :)) so i slept at one, but i didnt tell you i finished it. So i didnt.

Friday -- i went to school. Had a long test in english. I did well--considering that i was in serious lack of sleep and under great fatigue and stress. i got excused because of project citizen. IT TURNS OUT WHAT I DID WAS STILL DUE FOR EDITING! so i was like, nakakaasar na ha, parang never enough. crap. i was so pissed. what's worse is that mam dolar saw me, and BOOOM! i still wasn't able to finish the program. She went on with something like: WE CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT THE PROGRAM. and i was like: okay mam, i'll do it. So, while i was doing project citizen, i was making the english program. I was literally running all over the place--to the office, where Mam Bullanday was printing our documentation binder, to the conference room, where PC members were and to the faculty, to get pictures or simply stay there because someone was using my laptop or i just wanted to hide from Mam Resu. :)) So i layouted the english program and luckily and thankfully, louise helped me. So technically he was harassed in my place. :) THANKS MARI! :)

i finished my academic duties at about eleven. I ate lunch right after. I got dressed for practice. While they were practicing, i was finishing our music. Did i mention that i brought two bags worth of clothes? A laptop? a digicam? [yung photoshooot ngayon lang natuloy!!] haha! At about the 1 or 2, Mam dolar saw me infront of the classroom. PALPAK ka talaga. that's what she said. I was to tired too get pissed. :)) I had forgotten to put my title as english president and my full name wasn't there. SORRY. i was so tired a. She wanted me to make my script since i was the emcee for tuesday. I asked to joyce to help me. again, i was harassed :)) so i was tired. The class finished a meeting. PEB members could go home and freshen up. I didnt go home. Instead, i went to faith's house. We freshened up and got to school at about five.

Performances were from six to eight something. :) I am so proud of course, that even though i slept at one, and seriously lacked sleep and was stressed to the max, i was able to perform. :)) rock! it wasn't as good as our practices but hey, after it all, I WAS FREE! i was on the verge of crying after the announcement of the EKboys winning, but i'd reserve that for later. So we ate at Mcdo. got home at ten-- i seriously had a lot of things to bring!. took a bath. played. and slept at about eleven.

i then proved right there, that i should be proud that i had gone through God's challenges. He guided me and protected me. I maybe tired but hey, how many people could put up with that huh? :)) I am supergirl! :))

************************************************************************************************************
So i was depressed from saturday to about wednesday. i'd have to thank Francis R for cheering me up! :) thanks a lot! thanks to louise! you took pictures and assisted PEB! Yvon! for editing the documentation binder! Joyce! Kaira! :) and everyone who got worried about me since i was absent.:D God is good to surround me with caring people like YOU! :D

Make it a sweet, sweet Goodbye.

ayoko na.

Senior Year -- First Half. :)

Pics inside the classroom. outside the classroom. Pics with friends. Pics of inanimate objects. uhhh. Pics nung science thingy. Pics ni JP!! XD Pics ng mga Love team!! :)) XD Pics of Developmental Reading reports!!! :)) uhhh.. all these things in the FirstHalf of the School year. ;)

Ang Black/White Board ng Calcium. :)

haha! mga kung ano anong nakasulat sa white and blackboard natin! XDDD ang cute. :) ;> :D

Hold Your Own. Know Your Name. [BlogEntry]

"Hold your own. Know your name and go your own way. And everything will be fine." --Jason Mraz

 

That's what Jason Mraz sang in his song. "Details in the Fabric" And hell, that's just what i ought to do.

I'm blogging my heart out today. I just really need to. we all know writing is my output and here it is. One will know some things about me if one reads this.

 

ALRIGHTIE THEN.

===================================================================

 

Cupid told Psyche, before he left, "Love cannot live where there is no trust."

"If you don't trust someone, might as well don't love at all." --that's what i said in response to the quotation above in Developmental Reading class.

HAY NAKO. ang emo ko. =)) well alam nung iba kung bakit. it's a family thing. it's a house thing.

ayun. ayoko nang umuwi. [ironic, yes, i am at home] pero yun nga e.

Kung dati masasabi ko pa na : "Hayyy, I'm home at last!"

Now i would be like: "Ugh. Home."

I wont deny it, YES. i have been out most of the school nights. DOING SCHOOL WORK. doing the things i ought to be doing. and guess what? I get scolded for doing the right thing.

Ang dali naman kasing sabihin sa mga groupmates mo na: Uy, kailangan ko nang umuwi, sorry ha, di ako makakaattend.

PERO HINDI AKO GANOONG TAO. i know how to acknowledge the efforts of others and my conscience cannot bear the fact na nagpapahinga ako at yung iba nahihirapan.

EH yun pala yung gusto nila e. wag ako umattend, bayaan ko yung ibang groupmates ko ang gumawa. Para hindi ako mahirapan. THEN, I have just contradicted and thrown all the things i have learned in my sixteen years of living about Empathy, Unity and Cooperation.

ANO BA?! Stop treating me as if i'm doing something wrong!

 

Well sure, nahihirapan, nag-aalala. and stuff like that. but if one expresses love and concern in a way that pains the one you care about, well by golly, is it still love then?

 

I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE I'M STUPID. I KNOW WHAT TO DO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOVE IT IN MY FACE AND MAKE ME LOOK LIKE SHIT. that's the feeling i hate the most. I know. I know. I know. I know for one that ang laki ng pagkukulang ko, dahil wala ako. yes, i wont deny it. marami akong pagkukulang ngayon.

PERO DONT TREAT ME AS IF I DONT HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR IT.

sorry ah. i guess i simply had the notion that "Family will always understand." Well i guess they dont. they just expect so much from you.

I HATE BEING HELD BACK.

I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE I'M STUPID.

I HATE COMPROMISING VALUES.

AND I TERRIBLY HATE THE FACT THAT I'M WRITING THIS BLOG ABOUT THE PEOPLE THAT I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL TO.

i hate the fact that i feel like i just have to go home--and not want to. this is what i really feel. and it's just sad.

===================================================================

 

i know this is just an obstacle that God has planned for me. I know that He gives me strength. Please dont think that this show of rage is a sign of my rebellious and unruly behavior. Kahit papano, tao rin ako, dapat mairelease din. :D

 

De La Salle University College Entrance Test

Start:	Oct 18, '09
Location:	De La Salle University :D

Hello! ;)

A Piece of You. [Part Two -- Fragment of Imagination]

 

6 --- Spirited Away

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seeing from her perspective... She didn't have the appetite to eat dinner. It was terrible; just so terrible. He let me walk away, just like that. just like THAT. Maybe i just don't matter.

She picked up the remote control for the television. She turned it on.

Runaway Bride. This the part where the man proposes...

"...But I also guarantee, that if i dont ask you to be mine, i'll regret it for the rest of my life. Because i know in my heart... that you're the only one for me."

DAMN! Freaking chick-flick. She turned off the TV. Way to go to make me feel worse than ever. Well then, i mustn't be the only one for him. She turned on the computer.

She wasn't really hoping to see him online, she was checking her mail [like what she does regularly] and was suprised to be PMed by Cy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sidi_cy: What's your problem?
annaliezl: What problem? :P
sidi_cy: :)) You can't hide from us, we saw you two. what happened?
annaliezl: Uhhhh? :))
annaliezl: well, you know all about that, my problem...HIM. i just confronted him about it.
sidi_cy: You know, there might be just uhh, knots in the reality that's why you can't just seem to communicate with him.
annaliezl: Freaking reality, what great timing. =)) what's that, every time i talk to him, something goes horribly wrong? =)) whatever.
Do you think he'll get what i meant?
sidi_cy: Yea, i guess so, he's not slow or anything.
annaliezl: Dude, you know what, i think, if this continues to happen, whatever feelings i have for him, might just..uh.. go away.
sidi_cy: Why? Doesn't absence make the what go what?
annaliezl: Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
well i dont know, it just feels that way. Well i'm just trying to hold on to whatever that happened before. I like him, and i'll stick to him.
sidi_cy: tsk tsk. Why dont you just tell him that you love him? :))
annaliezl: DUDE!!! WTH no. :))
sidi_cy: If that doesn't wake him up, nothing will.
annaliezl: Patrick told me never to do that.
sidi_cy: Do you remember the story about the flower and the lady? The lady really wanted some flowers, so she gave hints to her husband that she wanted flowers. But she was given none. When she told him that she wanted flowers, her husband finally gave her flowers. Do you get it?
annaliezl: Well, yea. maybe. BUT DUDE! that's like. EVERYTHING! You just asked me to give my ALL! :))
sidi_cy: I'm not asking you. You're asking you. You're the one who wants something to happen. It's like asking you. =))
annaliezl: It so sucks that you are making sense. =))
sidi_cy: Well you're the one who made the sense out of it. :))
annaliezl: DAMN! :)) hey, do you think that i love him?
sidi_cy: Dunno. ask you.
annaliezl: :| damnn. :))
sidi_cy: Well the fact that you're having problems about these, i think that counts, right?
annaliezl: I LOVE HIM?! ew :)) i feel so unlike myself about it. [total dude moment]
sidi_cy: =))
annaliezl: [back to reality] OMGosh! WTH! I'm what in who?
sidi_cy: Dude, you are so in-you-know-what with him.
annaliezl: What? :)) Damn, I love him. I am still in shock.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the mind-boggling conversation with Cy, she turned off her computer. It was about ten pm. She got ready for bed and lied down.

I love him.

I love him.

I love him?

Do i really love him? Since, i've been ranting so much about it. i don't feel that i do. GAH! i dont know. it's like i've poured out my feelings to different friends, that i feel that there's nothing left.

 

Maybe i don't love him anymore.

Oh well... if these feelings i grow out of, it's his loss. if i don't, well then, he's lucky.

She closed her eyes, prayed and fell asleep.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

7 --- The Golden String

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Getting ready for work--while printing his due paper--while fixing his backpack--while fixing his hair--while doing all the things he put off, John hurriedly tried to finish everything and wanted to get to the office early. He wanted to catch Anna alone.

Before getting inside his car, he checked his phone. No new messages. He felt a slight tickle of pain. He got into his car and zoomed to the office.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anna woke up great. She felt renewed somehow. She ate a big breakfast, took a long bath and got ready for work. She wasn't early today, but hey, she felt good. 

She picked up her phone, No new messages. I dont mind, if that's the way he wants to play, then fine. I dont care. She smiled and called a taxi.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

8 --- Fruits Basket

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wow, Anna, you look gorgeous today, You're blooming." Patrick complimented Anna.

"I feel good too." Anna smiled and went to her desk. She felt different.

Everyone could see a sudden change in Anna. There was something different in her smile, her laugh, everything. Nothing really has changed, but somehow it's different.

Cy tapped Anna's shoulder. Hey won't you talk to that guy? he said as he pointed towards John. There's nothing to talk about, she replied.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow, she looks so beautiful today--stunning really. Wonder, what happened. Was i the one uh, keeping her from being like this? said John while he took a glance at her. He wanted to talk to her this morning, suprisingly, she arrived late. I need to talk to her after work. he thought and was invited by his friends to have lunch.

As he was stepping out the door, he looked at her.

She looked at him.

They caught each other's stare.

She looked away, as though in pain, and continued to talk to Emy, her deskmate.

John was tugged by his friends. They walked away.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

9 --- Faster than A Kiss

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Half an hour past 6pm, John approached Anna. Could i talk to you for a sec? he asked her. Sure, no problem. she replied. They went outside the office and went to a place where there officemates couldn't hear or see them.

John held Anna's hand... 

 Anna, he started to talk, you're the greatest person in the world. Even though, i acted like a dumb twit, you still cared. I couldn't reply or do anything that you expected because i was afraid. I didn't want to take risks of uncertainty. And i feel terrible about it.

I want you to know, that i will keep my promise that I will never leave you.

I love you, Anna, so very much.

 

Anna looked away, removed her hand from his. She turned around. She didn't know how to react to what he said.

Inhale. Exhale.

She turned around and glanced at John---who was looking at her---and looked away again.

She put her hands on her chest--she felt a heartbeat. Though it was different. It wasn't the same as it was before. She couldn't feel the butterflies in her stomach anymore. It was gone.

She loves him in some point, but not the way as she cared for him before.

 

She faced John...

I don't know what to feel about what you said. It's just--it's soo---weird. I mean, do you really just tell me this now because you thought that i'd leave you? Well something like that, i mean, i don't feel the same way now.

You've had me hanging on for too long that it's almost impossible to hold on after what you did yesterday. I mean, how could you just let me walk away?

I already felt that, you didn't love me, that you had let me go., and i decided to forgive myself and let you go. I loved you.

I'm sorry.

 

These were the words he was afraid to hear. He felt excruciating pain. He couldn't move. His muscles seemed to have weighed tons. His eyes seemed to be transfixed on the floor.

She tapped his shoulder and held his face, You were one sweet memory. she said, and started to walk off.

 

The words from the movie rung inside his head...

"...But I also guarantee, that if i dont ask you to be mine, i'll regret it for the rest of my life. Because i know in my heart... that you're the only one for me."

No, i can't let her walk away this time. An invisible force got his muscles working and he grabbed her hand.

He held her close.

I can't let you walk away this time, 'cause probably i'll regret it for the rest of my life and haunt me until i die. he began to speak; she listened attentively.

I love you---and i dont mind if you dont love me right now. Because, that's just how love is right? Even if that person doesn't reply, or treats you like you're invisible, you still love that person. she began to blush because he just narrated what she did.

Because when you're in love, you will take all the risks for that person. he continued.  

 

 

And i guarantee you, i will make you fall in love with me again.

 

 

Those were his final words to her. He let her go. She stood there looking at him. Blushing and laughing at the same time. What he said, it made her feel warm inside. It was far beyond than being said I love you. It was a courageous thing to say. She felt more thanever, that this guy from the office, loved her.

She raised her eyebrow and asked him, Can you really do it? Well i'll be the judge of that. She blinked and smiled at him, the way she did before. He smiled, he felt the warmth she had for him before.

Sure I can, he said, did you see your face a while ago? It was cherry red. He laughed.

She blushed again, a little, and pinched him. He held her hand and they walked off.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

*******************************

That night, before Anna went to bed, she picked up her cellphone and sent a text message.

"Goodnight." it read.

In less than a minute, her cellphone rang--she received a new text message.

"Goodnight. Goodnight. [there are two goodnight's because i'm trying to make it up to you for last time. :) " it read. it was from John.

She smiled, prayed and went to sleep.

*******************************************

 

 

Well, it wasss too late. :) but suprisingly, John bought himself time and was able to win her over! :) sweeet. [you know, i'm beginning to think that i watch and read too many shojo manga and anime :)) ] Whatever happens next, i do not know. their story ends there. :) I guess, I Love You isn't always the words that could fix everything. Grabe kinilig ako sa pagsusulat nito! :> :)) hoped you all liked it. :D

A Piece of You. [A Short Story--My first Chick-Flick Material :))]

A Piece of You

By: Abba Marie Moreno

 

1 -- When We Were There.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first time they met wasn't exceptional. It was the clockwork "Hi 'name', this is 'name'." sort of thing. It was a bright and clear sky they were under in. A sky of about 12.30 pm or 1.00 pm. It was a few degrees hotter than usual but the day was fine. It has been almost four years since that day.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Getting ready for work--while printing her due paper--while fixing her purse--while brushing her hair--while doing all the things she was supposed to be doing last night, Anna scurried through her apartment as she was almost late for being early at work. [She loves punctuality.]

As she was stepping out the door, she grabbed her phone that was lying on the end table. She hurriedly got into a taxi and sighed as she sat down. "Whew, what a tiring morning. I should really remind myself not to put off such things." she thought. She picked up her phone, "No messages, huh." She paused for a minute, then quickly punched in letters onto her phone and pressed send.

It read: "Good morning."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lax and carefree, John got ready for work. He ate breakfast, took a bath, got dressed and drove off. In ten minutes time, he was already at the company. Out of the car and walking, he got his phone. "Two messages, for what this time?" he thought.

One read: "Goodnight."

And the other: "Good morning."

He smiled for a second and continued to walk to the office.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

2 --- 5 cm/s

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a normal day in work. Anna had fun with her friends and was able to reorganize her work place. While placing sticky-note reminders on the documents, she glanced at John. "He's quiet, i wonder if he's alright. He hasn't talked to me today--OHHH. Why do i bother?"  She stuck the sticky-notes and walked off with Cy and Patrick.

She had fun being with her friends' company and went back to the office. She picked up her things and was about to go home. She said goodbye to everyone in the office. They goodbye-d back. She said goodbye to Him.

"Bye." he uttered.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She paid the cab driver and went to her apartment. Was she frustrated or angry or disappointed? She did not know.

"Okay. How do i react to that? This guy that told me he liked me, is ignoring me and not replying to me and------ One word, he tells me one word, and it's B-Y-E. DAMN!"

She grabbed the container full of cereal and took out her frustration into the sweet packets of carbohydrates.

"Ohhh, i just can't understand it. Even though he acts like i'm a nobody most of the time, and sometimes he's just the greatest jerk in the world. Why do i bother sending Goodnight's and Goodmorning's, even though he won't reply?" she sighs.

===========FLASHBACK==============================================

She looks back, Why the hell do i like this guy? It was mid-September, she was working late into the night in the office. It was a big company event, the boss relied on her to organize the schedules for the exhibit and to finalize everything. Everybody was counting on her. 10, 11, 12... the hours just went passing by.

 She wasn't even done yet. She felt so alone.

Her knees were trembling, she was about to cry. Tears were about to roll down her cheeks, suddenly, there was a knock on the door. She quickly put back her resolve and started working again. It was John- a guy in the office. He passed a folder of the missing documents and asked: "Aren't you done yet?"

She stared at him with a lour: "Does it look like i'm done?"

He chuckled, "Sorry, sorry, it was a standard question. Here's the last batch of the files you were waiting for. Surely, you must be done now?"

"Good, now i'm almost done! i just have to doublecheck these and i'm off. You going home now?" she asked.

"It depends. Are you?" He replied.

"Nah, not yet. i'll try to finish this, and sleep tomorrow at the exhibit." she smiled. "You should get some rest."

"You sure?" he insisted.

"Actually, i do want someone to wait up for me." she said. now, this was the real her.

He turned around, went back to his desk. He popped in some earphones and sat down.

She stared at him for a few seconds and got back to work. "I never really noticed, he's quite cute. Is he going to wait up? Wow."

She finished at about 2am. She poked him and both went home. He drove her home and told her to get some good and well-deserved sleep. He turned around and went to his car.

That night/morning or whatever, she got into bed smiling. He wasn't just some guy in the office anymore.

================FLASHBACK OVER====================================

"Gah! Why did i have to fall for that?" She smiled. It was the opportune moment to catch a workaholic-and-independent-type like her. There had been encounters like the flashback. Both already know that they "like" each other [nothing more--they had said it in one of their conversations]. In some days, he would be tickly-sweet. but in some, he was totally indifferent. He acted like she was invisible. Well at least, that's what she felt.

Even though he was like that, she was liking him more and more. They would talk when they were alone. They would eat together, once in a while. She found a haven in him; in the darkest hours, he was there. but recently, he hasn't.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

3 --- Seventh Period is a Secret

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She found herself crying the past weeks. The weight of all the pressures she has been coping with has finally fallen into her. She needed him more than ever. But he seemed busy at work. I should probably stop myself. He has more important matters to attend to.

Everytime she tried to talk to him, he just seemed to push her away. She felt terrible about it--liking him and needing him. Instead, she found refuge in her friends and two guys that have liked her before. When she was available, other guys were comforting her, it wasnt him. In the times that she was expecting that he would be there, some other guy would fill his shoes.

There are many guys out there that would be happy to have me, but why the heck do i want to stay with somebody like him? Does he really care? Does he? He told me before that he would never leave me, is this even true? She felt terrible. Maybe he didn't like her the way she thought he would. Who was she anyway?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

4 --- His and Her Circumstances

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Half an hour past 6pm, Anna approached John. She said goodbye and asked him if they could talk. He said sure, smiling. Not knowing that something is wrong. They went to a place where their colleagues couldn't see or hear them.

"John, what--wh--what do you feel towards me?" she asked with a trembling voice and a sad look on her face.

"Huh? Why are you asking me that?" He replied surprised to hear the question.

"I mean, sometimes i just dont feel like you care. Well, you're not supposed to or something but---uhhh." She couldnt finish what she was saying.

"Okay, i get it." He replied.

"Do you?! Really?" Her voice was now laced with a hint of anger.

"I want to talk to you, but you're not there. I PM you but you sign off or dont reply. I text you but you don't reply either. There are so many things i want to tell you, but i can't. You make me feel like--like--- uhhh. nevermind. I just want a piece of you and it seems that you can't even give me that." she went on. She was already stopping her tears, but she wanted to stay firm in what she said. She glanced at him, he looked shocked.

She turned around. She started to take steps. She prayed to God that he would tap her shoulder and talk to her. He didn't. She walked away crying.

He was left alone.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

5 --- Doubt

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She had already walked away. He didn't even bother to ask her to stay.

"Idiot. Idiot." he told himself. Maybe she would be happier if someone better than me would take care of her.

He looked down on his phone. He opened his inbox, true, there were short messages of concern from her. He looked back at the times that he didn't reply to her messages in IMs.

From his inbox, he went to his Drafts folder. They were filled with the messages he didn't have the guts to send. Some read "Goodnight.", others "Goodmorning". He looked back at the times, where he wanted to reply but didn't. Why didn't he? Was he afraid so much of rejection? What if she didn't like him back?

he scrolled down to see the very last message in the Drafts folder. It read:

"I love you."

He looked away. He stood up, picked up his phone and walked away. She was nowhere to be found. He went home.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He ate dinner and got ready for bed. Can i even sleep tonight? He turned on the TV. Infomercial, commercial, infomercial--wait wait--a movie in HBO.

Runaway Bride. This the part where the man proposes...

"...But I also guarantee, that if i dont ask you to be mine, i'll regret it for the rest of my life. Because i know in my heart... that you're the only one for me."

WHOAH. totally had an epiphany. I love her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

WAS IT TOO LATE? :)) napagod na ako. three hours making this. i'll make a part two. sometime maybe tomorrow. :D quite long. it's not exactly uh, great like the last ones, but trust me, i just want to write this. :)

 

The Eighteenth of September. [a little something about the last two months]

i'm writing this, it's ten pm.

it's the fifth day of the school week that i didnt eat dinner at home. :)) wowww. in short, i did not eat dinner at home for a week. sigh. this was a tiring one.

[siyempre kasama na dun yung mga pagpapagalitan sa akin at pagbibintang. trust. hay :))]

so far, this year has been great. extremely ultimately great! things have happened. things have not. and things will happen, and some will not. GAH. anticipation. :)

the year's moving quite fast though. the school has recently been quite chaotic. but hey, we have each other. :> right calcium? XD ILY. this section. haha! WOW. grabe. we are in a boardgame fever these days---if you dont find a calcium-ate or calcium-ite or whatever you would call us, playing scrabble or chess, you would probably find them, sleeping, eating, psp-ing and uh. whatever's left of the "academic" stuff. teachers have been busy with a lot of things lately, and so, we are left with free time---if not with a seatwork or an assignment.

Pour Etre Belle---of course, i will not fail to mention this girl group. HAHA! ABBA MORENO?!? HAVING THE GUTS TO JOIN A TALENT SEARCH?!? =)) i was like WHOAH. :)) anyway, PEB is fun. :D i get to know these girls so much better. i learn how to "dance" and "sing" and i'm able to study the physics of being girls [trust me guys, it is hard. :)) ]. totally awesome. it feels awkward that i'm not really talented, but you know, when there are people who encourage you and trust you that you can do it, it just all dissipitates. it all floats away. and then sooner or later, you're smiling and being able to do it. now if physicists cannot find the fundamental particle or chemists as to which elements are to be discovered, no one, i mean no one, can define the feeling i just described. it is magical.

As for my friends, you know who you are, ILY guys. :)) you have been there for me, really. i just dont know what to do without you people. Dahil sa inyo, nakakaexperience ako ng mga bagong bagay. new things, cool new things. not only in like, our nerdlike conversations, but in the things we talk about. alam natin yun. =))

Hahaha. oo nga pala, idol ko na talaga si Mrs. Tirones. she is great. a great teacher, a magnificent mother and a cool friend. :)) astig talaga. =))

this year, i have felt new things. kanina nga lang. something i would have never done. i did. let's not dig into the details, i'll tell you if you ask me privately---it depends on who you are. i am a selfish person, and i was in a dilemma to choose between my welfare and my friend. thinking rationally, my welfare would be the best choice, but WHOAH MAN, i chose my friend. rocks. nagulat ako dun sa ginawa ko. parang ang bait ko. astig. GOD HAS CHANGED ME. :] i really think that i have changed. i dont know if it's for the better or for the worse, but i feel so good. even though i already lack more than twenty four hours of sleep, i just feel so good. :) feeling new things. feeling old ones. HAYYY. :) [new person being talked about] I never thought that something like this would happen. =)) dammmn.

 

the past months have been great. GOD IS SO GOOD. SO SO GOOD.

 

[i'm off to write now. i have pending stories. people have been asking for new material :)) now that i have finally have time, actually i just put off some work to be done, i want to write. i miss how my pen shouts out my thoughts on paper. i have a lot of pending thoughts. =)) bye now.:D]

Pour Être Belle's "Ready or Not" of A1 9.10.09 [along with some random pics]

nandy. :) hahaha. no comment! :)) la masabe. :D :]

Applaud. [A short story]

Applaud.

by: Abba Marie Moreno

 

Small limpid pearls of disappointment started rolling down my cheeks.

I was seventeen. It was my first balet recital. I danced to the mellifluous tune of Swanlake but my dancing wasn't that sweet. I wobbled. My arms and legs were flaccid. My heart was beating so fast that I could feel it in my throat. It wasn't graceful at all.

I took that final bow. The whole auditorium was silent. It was deafening.

A lone pair of hands was clapping--- it was Michael's. I felt horribly embarassed. I left the stage.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Nang Ang Linya'y Nakurba [Featuring IV - Calcium and Mr. Paulo Salvidar]

HAHA! First Quarter Project ng IV - Calcium. :D
History of Calculus.

Mr. Salvidar as JAY TARUC! XD :D

hilarious to. sobra! [medyo si John ray yun XDD]

Random Blog Entry.

It's been sooooooo LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONGG. :))

unfortunately, this isnt a short story. :) i've had ideas recently. but i just cant find the right time and environment to write. :)) [OO MAY GANUN XD ].

So far. the first quarter has come to an end. :) after we pass all our requirements, it is the Second quarter. GAAH. is it this fast? :D

the First Quarter was really fun and hectic, but fun. We had a lot of class presentations. :)) andaming bonding time! :D i will be soon posting our Calculus Project :D The class never seemed so alive and united. Our pretend family roles were acted out as realistic as ever. :)) sons and daughters were acknowledged, and so were the pets. :)) XD

the classroom is really having fun. sa mga class project. ahaha! at tuwing CAT pagfriday. :)) XD katuwa. :D It seemed that the sun is shining right on top of our classroom -- to spread its cheer, and well literally, make it extremely hot. GAH! :)) ang init sa room. pero okay na rin. at least may classroom. :D

i, myself, too has been happy. :D well fortunately, one phase of this year is going according to plan, though i need to reinforce discipline. the classroom is really fun. my friends are as warm as ever. my occasional emo moments are growing smaller. and of course. some people just brighten my day. :)

 

HAHA! ouran has been better than ever. :)) Tamaki :'> :)) XD

[[abangan na lang sunod kong post. :D]]

Group Two - Developmental Reading Project [Resident Evil 007]

HAHA! Late post. onti ng pics. :) i was operating the sounds e. :| :))

Our story was Resident Evil 007. XD A story made up of the characters---
the Resident Evil Duo [Fred Odtuhan and Sean Encabo]
Sherlock Holmes [Prince Francisco]
James Bond \ Agent 007 [Eriko Lanante]
Ester from The Scarlet Letter [Abbi Espiritu]
Pinocchio [Aaron Krout]
Adolf Hitler [Jerome Gozon]
Butler [Rene Lopez]
Artemis Fowl [Yours Truly. :)) ]

haha! Pic sa dulo. :)) Simpsonism. XD

July 28, 2009 - My First Diary Entry in 6 Years

Dear Diary,

I havent written to you in a while. well that's because i dont trust you. =)) you always spill the beans on me! like the time when i liked--- *******. :)) ahahaha. well iit's that i dont trust you but, the people are such busybodies.

well anyway. today is my birthday. July 28. yesss. haha. i guess it is so far, the most memorable one yet. kahit medyo nagtampo ako nung umaga. my own parents forgot my birthday. :| pero i'm fine na naman. school was just wonderful. being ignored half of the day, and being showered by love in the other. :D >:D< i'm so thankful. to have GREAT FRIENDS. [i love you RONA!] i love all of you guys. :D :) haha! salamat nga pala kay JC and ATE MITCH for accompanying me in Mcdo. :D :) >:D<

the thing that made this day special was what anjilo asked me.

yun na yung pumasok sila rona to greet me na. medyo mushy na ako nun. and then anjilo asked me to come near him.

"Eto ba ang masasabi mo, na walang may pakialam, walang pumapapansin? . . . . " i cant remember what he said, but it was something like that.

 

last june. i fel terribly depressed. TERRIBLY. for all i know, the world was just using me. i felt so alone. Sleeping late at night or early in the morning, for the people that didnt even bother to help. Waking up early in the morning to finish something. being morally degraded by words that cut through my flesh. tapos parang iniisip mo na lang na walang nagmamahal sayo.

andami mong hirap na pinagdadaanan para sa ibang tao.

being on the brink of breaking.

i just wanted to run away and die or something. harsh, i know, but it's true.

 

a few people kept me going. they were Friends. tapos alam mo yun, tipong nabago yung buong pagkatao ko nung arw nat o.

LSCers Go To Ateneo for UPCAT Refresher [Salamin ng Kahirapan XD]

Tunghayan ang tunay na kulay ng kahirapan. joke. pinagtripan lamang ang mga nakatulog sa kalsada ng ateneo de manila university. :)) XD gah. natunay ang utak sa mock exam sa ISO? :)) well we ate at shakey's and went back to ateneo. :D

gah. di malagyan ng caption. :)) basta si mae at si ruben ang tulog. :)) XD

A - Z Reading Proficiency Contest

Start:	Aug 15, '09
Location:	I dont know yet.

uh. may cash prize to. :)) XD first contest of the year! Division pa lang to. :D

The Pornographer's Polaroid [Another Short Story]

Polaroid One600 Ultra

Uses Polaroid 600 Instant film.

Focus-free lens for great shots as close as 2 feet (0.6 M).

Sleek, folding design perfect for those on the go.

Digital LCD picture counter and feature setting display.

Auto flash for great pictures in any light.

Red-eye reduction so you always look your best.

Self-timer, so now you too can be in the picture.

Wrist strap

ayun daw yung mga "specs" ko. the features that i possessed. pang-akit daw ng mga bibili sa akin. magdadalawang buwan na rin akong nakaupo sa isang storage room ng isang stall sa greenhills. Ang tagal na rin pala.

pinaulit-ulit ko sa aking sarili ang mga specs ko. great shots. great pictures. aba. ang galing ko naman pala. :)) ako ang magsisilbing instrumento sa pagpinta ng mga ngiti ng mga malulusog na bata sa mga birthday party, siguro mga kasal na napaka-sweet, mga graduation na nakakaiyak, at kung anu-ano pang mga okasyon na naririnig kong napakasaya para sa aming mga camera. excited na ako.

*********************************************************************************************

bumukas na naman ang pinto ng storage room, nakita ko mula sa plastic sa aking kahon. Sana ako na ang piliin. Taimtim kong hinihiling. Kaso kinuha ni Jeff, yung bagong "helper", ang isang kahon ng isang digital camera. Umalis siya at sinarado ang pinto. Hayyyy.

 

"Ano ba Jeff?! Sabi camera, yung may nakikita kagad na picture!" sigaw na narinig ko, marahil tong anak ng may-ari, nagmamagaling na naman.

"Eh, sir, di ba digicam ganun rin yun?" Sagot ni Jeff.

"Bobo ka ba? Yung may lumalabas, na nakadevelop kagad. Yung Podaroyd." Asar na asar na sumagot si Melvin.

"Sir, POOLLLAARROIIDD, ang tawag dun. Sana po kasi linawin niyo sa susunod." Sagot naman ni Jeff na tila manununtok na. Naririnig ko ang mga tunog ng mga paang papalapit.

 

Naniniwala akong matalino si Jeff. Kawawa naman at inaalipusta siya. Pero, di ko na iisipin yun. POLAROID daw. ako yun! May bibili na sa akin! Ang tanging inisip ko.

*******************************************************************************************

 

Isang lalaking, marahil 26 - 28 na taon ang tanda, nakasalamin at nakaputing polo ang may hawak ngayon ng paper bag kung saan ako naroon. Aba, ang ganda naman ng itsura ng lalaking to. Bata pa. Sana maraming gimik! Maraming outing. Maraming picture! Talagang excited na ako.

Umuwi kami sa apartment niya. Malinis. Maputi. Napakaganda ng mga furniture. May mga display ng mga robot at laruan. Isip bata siguro ito.

*******************************************************************************************

 

Pagdating ng 10am kinabukasan, inalis niya ako sa kahon. Mabilis na binasa ang aking manual at ipinasok ako sa loob ng kanyang bag. Gagamitin na niya ako. Ang saya naman nito.

Pumunta kami sa isang maliit na building. Sumakay ng elevator. 3rd floor. Room 318. Opisina kaya niya ito? Ano kayang trabaho niya? Nakapolo siya muli.

Pumasok kami sa loob. ISANG STUDIO. Isang puting background, tapos may mga ilaw na nakatayo. Isa siyang photographer! Napakabait naman ng tadhana sa akin. Ako, na sabik na sabik magamit, ay magagamit na. Wala akong pakialam kahit masira ako, gusto ko lang makatulong sa kanya. Matupad ang mga pangarap kong magpinta ng mga ngiti.

***************************************************************************************

 

Mga ala-una, may kumatok sa aming pinto.

"Ako po 'yung model." mahinang sinabi ng dalaga. Aba, big-time naman nitong amo ko, mga model pala. akala ko pangkasal kasal at binyag. Hanep talaga!

Maganda ang dalaga. actually, mukha nga siyang dalagita e. Mga 16? Ninerbyos ata siya. Suklay nang suklay. Lingon ng lingon. Nanginginig.

 

"Marissa, sige pumunta ka muna doon sa may ilaw, gusto ko makita ang mukha mo sa ilalim ng ilaw." sabi ng aking amo.

Dali-daling pumunta ang dalaga, o dalagita, sa may background.

"Okay. Sige sige. Photogenic ka naman."

 

"Sige, maghubad ka na."

 

Di ako makapaniwala sa mga narinig kong salitang nagmula sa lalaking nagmamay-ari sa akin, sa lalaking aking hinangaan. Inilabas na niya ako at inilapag sa may mesa.

Tumunog ang kanyang cellphone, "Oo, ifa-fax ko sa'yo tong mga picture dito sa bagong recruit. [pause] Oo naman, batang bata pa."

Nakikita ng lens ko ang lahat, naririnig ko rin ang lahat. Ang taong ito, na walang ginawa kung hindi magkalat ng kalaswaan at karumihan, ay nagkaroon pa ng lakas ng loob na magpolo, magmukhang disente, magmukhang inosente.

Napuno ako ng poot sa puso ko, o kung ano man ang puso ng mga camera. Gagamitin pala ako sa ganitong paraan! Ako ang instrumento na hindi magpipinta ng mga ngiti ngunit ako ang nagtatanggal ng dignidad sa mga taong ito. Pinapababa ko sila. Ipinahihiya. Hindi ko inakala na pwede itong mangyari. Aabusuhin lang pala ako.

Naghubad ang dalagita. Nagpose. Nagpakita ng kababawan, ang mababang paglipad. Ngunit nakikita ng lens ko ang kanyang mga mata. Inosente, umiiyak at humihingi ng tulong. Kung ganoon ang nararamadaman niya, bakit niya kaya ginagawa ito? Para siyang tanga.  

Hindi ko matiis na lumalabas sa akin ang mga litratong tulad ng mga ito. Malaswa. Marumi. Tukso. Kasalanan. Hindi ko masikmura itong lahat.

 

********************************************************************************************************

 

Lumipas ang dalawang linggo, nagpatuloy ang pagpasok at paglabas ng mga "model" sa kanyang opisina. Mapa-dalagita, binata, o matatanda. Nandidiri na ako sa sarili ko.

Ika-dalawangpu't dalawa na itong "model" na ipininta ko. Tama na. Hindi ko na kaya ipagpatuloy ito. Ilang buhay na ba ang sinira ko? Ilang dignidad na ba ang ninakaw ko sa bawat litrato na aking kinukuha?

Isinara ko ang shutter ko. Hindi ko ito bubuksan. Bahala siya. Kailangan tumigil na ito.

 

"Sir, bakit, ano po bang problema?" tanong ng model.

"Ah eh, wala. Lagi kasing nagloloko ang mga Polaroid sa akin. Mukhang nagloloko na ito. Ewan ko ba, bakit parang hindi sila tumatagal sa akin, nakalimang Polaroid na ako sa 3 buwan. dalawang linggo pa lang ito sa akin, sira na ata. Sige, gamitin ko na lang yung digicam. Wag ka nang gumalaw." sagot ng lalaking may hawak ng Polaroid na camera.

Tiningnan niya ako. Tinitigan ako ng mga matang nag-eenjoy sa mga robot at laruan-- mga matang inosente--, ngunit hindi ko makalimutan na ang mga mata rin na iyon ay naghahanapbuhay sa karumihan. Puno ng awa ang kanyang mata. Sa sarili niya, sa akin o sa mga model? Tila kaming lahat ay dapat kaawaan ng Maykapal. Malambot ang kanyang mga mata. Nakakaginhawa.

 

Bang! Tumama ang Polaroid sa pader.

 

Sa segundong nahulog ito sa malamig na tiles ng sahig at nagkahiwa-hiwalay ang mga bahagi, lumabas ang isang litrato.

Ang mga camera ay inimbento upang maipakita sa atin ang ating mga ngiti, luha, itsura. Ang mga litrato ay tila Hardcopy ng salamin.

Ang litrato, na dapat salamin ng lalaking iyon, ay Itim lamang ang lumabas.

UPCAT :)

Start:	Aug 2, '09 12:30p
End:	Aug 2, '09 6:30p
Location:	UP Diliman, NCPAG Building

upcat ko. :| :)

All the Details in the Fabric.

Hello. :) another formal blog here. di na masyadong emo or angry. :)) XXD

hay. recently. i was staring blank into space inside the classroom. [stare] the rays of sunshine illuminating half faces, desk arms and the blackboard. it was steaming hot inside the classroom. air wasnt going out. the trees were still. my english teacher spoke fluent english.

a thought occurred to me.

"THIS COULD BE THE LAST TIME I SEE THIS SCENE." ---the class has been busy lately. assignments. groupworks. a ton of class works. :) puro practice kagad. tapos gumagawa na rin ng mga proyekto. it was like it was already the middle of the year. :|

pagkatapos ng UPCAT at ACET, wala na masyadong pagkakaabalahan. tuloy-tuloy na to.

 

tuloy-tuloy patungo?

 

patungo saan?

 

sa pagkakahiwalay?

 

sa pagkakalimutan?

 

saan?

 

 

thoughts were zooming inside my head. mam tirones kept glancing towards me. i seemed occupied. i was. :) i've already said to a lot of people that i'm tired of mandsci. that i really really really want to leave and go to college. but . . . when i noticed the scene i described earlier. i felt the gravity of what i said. did i really feel this way? yes i'm tired but, the scene, it was, if not beautiful, simply immaculate.

it's the first time i realized that this would be my LASTS in mandsci. i told Ate Iced Tea, that i'm graduating. she was like OO NGA. i grew up in her iced tea, though i dont always buy. :) nung first year ako, ayun. yun lang iniinom ko. :)) ngayon. medyo ganun ulit.

FOURTH YEAR NA PALA AKO. :)

 

havent really thought of it. i dont feel it. i dont feel old in school. i still imagine kuya paul's batch and everybody there. at the back of my head, i couldnt accept it. :)

like in my previous blog. Things are meant to pass away. it is because they are more valued that way.

 

i noticed that scene. if i was in my second year, i'd be like, wow that's cool. but now. it's more like: wow, will i ever see this again?

yes. my theory proved correct yet again. it's sorta sad but hey. i get to feel this sort of value.

 

we're in one big loom :)

and these are the details in the fabric.

Cold Hard Harsh, Reality.

Cold Hard Harsh Reality. well at least MY reality.

fudge. i was so furious this afternoon. well my classmates knew why. i shouldnt be mentioning names or whatever but i have my right to express this burden.

altruism --- a defense mechanism in which, when feeling strong emotion or stress, the person would obsessively help other people. :|

ako ba yun? am i like that? i like helping people.,i like stress <?> somehow. i love drama. i'm efficient and i dont ask questions. i dont say no for an answer--- to authorities of course.

 

alam ko. this is not a good attitude. you can blame my parents for that. i grew up. not to ask questions. just do what you're told. RESPECT in the highest meaning of the word. i didnt mind getting hurt. getting insulted. getting expected of. crying without anyone knowing [i cry, because i did not want to feel the destructive emotion of anger. but i guess my brother knew. but he never bothered to help me. i never bothered to help him. our parents controlled what needed be.]

 

i'm feeling little droplets of liquid in my eyes right now. [thanks louise :) ] i feel abused somehow. and "something" isnt right. i'm feeling deterioration. dont take it seriously, that's what you said, but i dont know. I CANT NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. para kong tanga to ponder about this. and somehow maybe i'll laugh about this in the future. but this is present pain. this is happening now. this is what i want to forget. this is why i write.

 

hindi lang tong incident na to ang dahilan. marami pa. i guess yun lang ang sindi ng dynamite ng lahat.[9:30pm]

[9:53pm]oh di ba. busy ako. :)) ayun. medyo okay na. [thanks louise ulit and paula D] somehow alam niya kung papano ako dapat i-handle. SIGH.

nawala na ang momentum ng galit at emosyon ko.

 

NAALALA KO BIGLA.

 

the thing that keeps me going.

 

[after being hurt by the people i love the most.]

 

is.... are..

 

MY FRIENDS. :]

 

 

[tears ulit--- 9:56pm]

[10pm] these people make everything feel better. :) [tumawag pa si rona] :D

 

siguro. i may be passive most of the time. busy. doesnt give a damn about anyone or anything as long as i finish what i'm working on. minsan nalilimutan kong mangamusta. or bumati ng birthday. or busy ako.

pero. i can tell you here. that when the time comes that you need me. and tell me what you need. i will be there for you. i know it's hard.that i should be the one approached. i'm selfish. i'm busy. i dont have time for you.

 

but the real friends i have. know that i'm just a girl. waiting to be bailed out of a well i fell in.

 

i treasure them the  most :) if you dont feel the same way. i dont care. masaya ako kapag kasama ko kayo. if you leave me, fine. i can live with the fact that you people were the reason that i kept going on. but can you? 

 

i love you guys. :) thanks so much. nasira ang essence ng angry blog. naging emo. :)) at nostalgic.  

The Golden Ticket. [A Dream]

Okay. i had the best dream ever.

i was with friends in my dream. the only person i remember that was part of the group was John Ray. Anyway, we like won this thing-urhm-ticket to see Panic At The Disco because they were in the Philippines.

We, the friends i was with, entered the room where the band members were. it seemed all sooo vivid. Velvet red curtains, rugs and even the door! :D  The band members were sitting there looking bored (one was sleeping i think :)) ). Brendon Urie was the first person i saw. He was sitting down on a couch near the door. He stared at me with wide eyes.

In my dream, we were like: OMG! PANIC! I LOVE YOU GUYS! ROCK ON! [in total awe of the coolness of our luck] but they seemed indifferent about it.

 

SUDDENLY THE ATMOSPHERE CHANGED.

 

The white light from the flourescent lightings became red <i have no idea how and why>. And all i could see was Brendon. I did not notice JR and the others; not that they left or anything, i just couldn't notice 'cause i was so taken by Brendon. He stood up from the couch, i was in front of him. I tripped, i held on to his shirt and we fell on the velvet rugged floor. He fell on top of me [ not a very decent scene to be in! >.< ] I could feel his warmth, his breaths. He looked at me with his eyes that told me he liked me. He smiled. He got up and helped me get up too. The light was red; i could feel the intensity of the moment. I could feel his warm touch as he suddenly hugged me. He stared at me with those fiery eyes. We were inches apart.

I blurted out: "Are you trying to copy the thing in Get Smart?" <the flirting thing>

He didn't take his eyes off me. He smiled once more. I sorta melted and he drew closer. I believe he was about to kiss me, and i was about to give in! It was like a driving force to get nearer to this person. Fortunately, i got back into my senses and instead, placed my head on his left shoulder. [i cant believe i almost kissed this guy! i thought.] I expected utter defeat in his actions since i hesitated [it was like total KJ moment :)) ]. But you know what? He hugged me tighter; his hands now at the back of my head. He closed his eyes and kissed me on my forehead [like a dad would do].

THOUGH SAYING: You did the right thing by not kissing me.

i totally melted. it felt really good. it was not lust but father-like love. I felt so loved at that moment. So understood, so accepted. We broke off the hug.

Music suddenly played. He told me we should dance before i left. I placed my hands on his hips [no fat at all!] and i told him to put his hands on my shoulders [i think it's the other way around :)) ] He smiled at me again. We swayed to the music, it wasnt really dancing. He smiled, and asked my if this was really dancing. I told him, it doesnt matter :)) so we "danced" the night away. :D

The following day i went back to the place to say goodbye to him [i reckon they were leaving]. I couldnt reach him. He was on top of the building. There was a large crowd on the street; but all i could hear was his voice. He yelled [these are not the exact words but that's the thought]: We cant be together! You were great/spectacular. But here, i wrote a song for you.

the crowd was noisy but again, i only hear his voice.

he sang: "She was < a word synonymous to great or magnificent >..." his voice was so heavenly. :)

================================================================

 

I WOKE UP. It was a totally awesome dream. mixed emotion about stuff. (please dont think i made this up, i really dreamt it.) the first thought that occurred to me was:

they say dreams are messages from God. Is Brendon here, a symbol for a guy i'll meet or have met? IS MY PRINCE CHARMING COMING TO GET ME?

i wrote about it because i did not want to forget this dream. it was truly wonderful; and it seemed so real (though impossible), i really felt i was there. I couldnt describe it like this if i didnt, can i? :)) anyway, hoped you enjoyed it. :D

 

Time Would Stop After All.[i must say, a must read in all of my works. :D short story]

Time Would Stop After All.

By: Blackrose

Abba Marie Moreno – Blackrose is my pen name ;)

 

           

            Have you ever had that moment in your life (maybe you’d had it more than once) that you wished that time would just stop? Whether it was happiness that could’ve made you wet your pants, depression that made you devour tubs of ice cream or just plain aggravation over your boss, it was a time of great desperation.

 

            And every time that situation comes up, Time wouldn’t stop.

 

And you’d feel more than ever that somehow God hated you. Eventually you’d get over it. It could’ve lasted in your favor or somehow skip it, but it did not.

 

Time is a being. He goes to work like everyone else. Yeah, I said HE. On Mondays, he’d just sit on clouds and watch over us. It was one big reality show for him. Sometimes, he’d be in animal forms—crawling among us. On Sundays, he’d go and see Him; have a little chat and so. Occasionally, he’d walk among us humans and maybe have a hotdog or so. Of all the things he loved doing, he loved sleeping the most. :]

 

“OOHH, I wish time would stop!” he’d hear this once in a while. He’d peek for just a bit, and fall back into sleep. Pity was not in his vocabulary.

 

He had no care in the world. Yeah, he had a good a life—one good immortal life.

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey, Manager, I’m taking the day off. Would you mind?”  Time asked the Boss.

 

“No problem. Just be sure to come back.” The Boss sat in his desk, smiled and went back to the line of angels that had matters to discuss.

 

 

 

 

“My, my.” It was a Wednesday, much like any Wednesday. He felt smug about himself—walking casually, a man of 28 or 30. He was going to visit Mr. Clocksworth, the owner of the Clock Shoppe in Paris. He’s been here quite a few times. He’d like to marvel at the Grandfather Clocks, the Parisian wall clocks, there was even a metronome. The tick, the tock, the movement of the pendulums, it all stunned him at awe each time.

 

“Oh, I see that you have much interest in clocks.” The elderly shopkeeper said in abrupt French.

“Yes, yes. Time is a wonderful thing you see.” He replied.

 

The shopkeeper smiled and left him alone. By five o’clock he went to the Eiffel Tower. He saw this woman in a fur coat; she had tears on her cheeks. He walked past her. He didn’t have time to spare for those who could not fix their lives.

 

            He felt a tug. The Parisian woman had held on to his coat.

 

            “Would you mind if we had a drink?” she asked him. She seemed sober but her teary eyes were evident.

 

            “Sorry, Lady, but I have no time for that.” He replied in a stern voice.

 

            “Oh come on, just one. There’s a time for everything.” She pulled on his hand as though he were a child. She looked desperate; he had no choice. He did have time anyway.

 

 

            They had a drink. She told him about what happened. Her fiancé had cancelled the wedding since he’d met a new woman. She needed a stranger whom to share her problems with, no familiarity whatsoever, and that was him. They had a few laughs and it made her feel better. She had a common face, she wasn’t extraordinary in some extravagant way but she seemed so… so…. Right.

 

            “God really is a wonderful being. How he had written the stories of our lives. How he’d chosen time to keep moving forward.” A soothing tone of relief in her voice.

 

            “Oh. How do you say so? I’ve heard a lot of people who’d give their all just to stop time. Ever seen time-machine movies?” he replied. He looked at her.

 

            “Oh, I don’t know about that. But, if time could bend into our will. We wouldn’t be as strong as we are. We can’t move on. I’ve moved on.” She said with effect and emphasis.

 

            “Good for you. I need to go now. It was nice meeting you.” He bid goodbye.

 

            “No no, it was nice, meeting YOU. Thanks a lot. I finally have my dignity back.” She smiled and they walked separate ways.

 

Normally, he was indifferent about the people he met. But when she smiled, he felt his heart skip a beat. That was odd, he thought. He had a good time. But it was different from the emotion he felt. For the first time in his existence, he could not sleep.

 

 

He went back to the Office.

 

            “Boss, what’s this feeling?” he asked.

            The Boss winked and said. “Why, that is love. You’d fallen in love, son. And all I thought now that you weren’t susceptible to that.”

 

            “Love?” he asked. He got his time card and checked out. He said goodbye to the Boss and sat beneath the stars.

 

            Love, he thought. I’ve seen these things on human movies but it doesn’t feel that way. He smiled. It was a mixed emotion of things he didn’t know. It was spectacular. She’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I want to see her again. And trust me, he has seen a lot of wonderful things.

 

 

 

He’d meet her every Wednesday at the same spot where they met. They’d eat or dance or just walk. Whatever they did, they had fun. It was all so simple yet it was profound. He’d smile more often but he never forgot about his job. The Boss didn’t seem to mind, as long as he did his duties. He had the best weeks of his existence.

 

He was watching over this woman, whose name he did not bother to ask. She had gone from the groceries. It was a Sunday.

 

            A ten-wheeler truck.

 

            A driver half asleep.

 

            A boy of six or seven picking up a ball on the middle of the road.

 

            A woman with shopping bags who saw the boy.

 

            And an impulse that told her to save the young boy.

 

It all happened so fast, funny that he was responsible for that.

 

            Her last breath --- Time had stopped. Perhaps he did not have Pity in his vocabulary but I guess, it had the word Love in it.

 

 

 

This was insubordination. He touched her face. She was dying. He couldn’t go back. His job was the priority. The most rational act was for him to stop time and savor this moment.

 

            Everything froze. The seemingly endless ticking of the wound clocks have stopped. Water froze in the air as a mother had thrown some water. The city lights paused in a way that was magnificent. The unstoppable wind was stopped. It was beauty that time could only give us. It truly was an amazing sight.

 

            “What are you doing?” a little girl asked him. It was Death, his colleague.

 

            “I—I don’t know.” He stammered.

 

            “It is time.” She said.

 

            “No.” he lied to himself.

 

            “This is part of the Design. You have your job. I have mine. It is hard, I know.” Her mellifluous voice underscored the words even more.

 

            She was right. This was wrong. Death touched his shoulder. It was time.

 

He closed her eyes for about a second; this was the first time he wanted to go back to a particular moment. He wanted to go back to the first smile she had given him.

 

He opened his eyes: everything resumed. The ticking went on. Water fell on the ground. The city lights assumed disorder. The wind ran again. It was all according to the Design. He just wanted to sleep it all away.

 

 

He was going over to the Boss. While he was going there, he tried to think logically. She died a noble. It was madness for him to do such an irresponsible thing. He loved her, and if he really did, he would want her to fulfill the Purpose the Boss had given her.

 

But, if time could bend into our will. We wouldn’t be as strong as we are. We can’t move on. I’ve moved on. Her words rung inside his head. “I wasn’t strong as I thought after all.” He thought.

 

He was there at the Office.

 

            “Boss, I screw up. And I don’t know what to say.” Time said with much embarrassment.

 

            “Yes, I know.” The Boss smiled.

 

            “Different beings respond to love in different ways. And that was yours. Don’t worry about that. No damage done. It was an opportunity for you to feel it. Wonderful, is it not?” He continued.

 

            “It was—is the most wonderful feeling.” Time replied with his teary eyes.

 

            The Boss patted his head.

 

 

Time had stopped once—and it was for Love.

           

Love, the magnificent force pouring out from God.