i know.

well this is sort of my version of Kuya marc's rants over at the GreenChronicles.

i always wonder why my life seems to breeze past me. i mean. one minute i'm sitting in class the next second i'm somewhere i dont want to be in.

i'm really starting to get ticked off by these contests. i'm very BUSY. yeah. i'm VERY BUSY. i've been saying that all the time. Using it as an excuse which really is the reason. I missed how much? i'm not talking about the quizzes or the grades or the classes i've missed. but the people i've denied my presence of. my friends. my family. the people i want to be with.

it's depressing that i cant stand up and say NO. Do i like the pressure? the rewards? the success? the depression? the complication? being not there when i need to be there the most? what's happening? i promised myself that i would take control of MY life. But why cant i seem to stop this madness? was it because people are expecting me to do this? or was it no one else CAN do it? Rather no else WANTS to do it?

Cant i deny those people? 3 days ago, i was crying. I was horribly frustrated because nothing seemed to go my way. i couldnt do homework. i was just in my room, depressed. i missed two birthdays of the two people i love. how can i memorize Seratonin -- C10H12N2O and not realize that it's a birthday of my dear friend?! what type of android have i become? have i ceased to become human and started to erase emotions?

i have not been writing lately. i have not been drawing lately. all those things that i once thought was fun. i cant seem to do them. why? because i'm BUSY. VERY BUSY.

everything seems so ironic. so sarcastic. the weather is mocking me. the flowers, birds and trees! they all mock me with their NOT BUSY lives. i want to take life, step by step. not like the movie "CLICK". my world is not remote-controlled. i take control. God does.

uh. random stuff. filipino day? XD

hahahha. one day celebration of filipino month, August. :D man, i never want to dress up as a boy ever again. XD

the exams are finally over. :]

SIGH.

grabe. the hellish week is finally over. [classmate: arent you supposed to be doing Zoology? Me: yeah whatever. XD let me finish blogging first.]

the other tests were alright. i never knew what a blessing the guy who invented multiple-choices-tests. XD i hardly studied ever. hahaha. the first day of the exam - i was out by twelve, went home at three. XD second day- out be eleven- home by seven. XD today. out by eleven - home by twelve-thirty. wow.

got scolded pa. hahaha. [di kasi nagpapaalam eh.] XD it's not really something to be glad about cause i keep my parents worrying about me. well it's my fault but i'm kinda used to going home at seven or eight and by the time i get home, nobody seems to care. The family's finally starting to get together. got closer somehow. well from now on, magpapaalam na ko. XD hahahhaa. i'm such a bad girl. but dont they trust me that i dont go to bad places? XD

my gosh! Precalculus was hard - well i'm pretty used to having a difficult time struggling with numbers and variables. XD i like precalculus better anyway. PHYSICS -- MAN! where have i been all these physics discussions??? well i wasnt the only one, everybody agreed. IT WAS HARD. i would read the problem twice or thrice, and still end up guessing. hahahaha. it was full of calculations about mirrors, focal lengths, urggghhhh. bahala na si batman. XD

Bahala na si LORD. :D

hahahahaha. tests. no tests. what's the diff? XD i'm self-grounded. baka di ako makapagcelebrate ng adam sandler day. aww. simpsonism. DX

it's the start of the second quarter. i'd try to exert more effort this time. hahhahahha. :]

HELL WEEK.!.

 

haha. first blog entry.

now all i can say is: FUDGE.

I mean, HELLO?!? i'm so fudging busy, and all hws need to be passed at the same time! This is not fair. We're human too ya know. sigh. no one would hear my pleas here.

Anyway, Wednesday will be HELL DAY. It would also be the end of HELL WEEK. Guess you guys know all about that. :) it's gonna be rough, it's gonna be tough, it's gonna be payback time you ugly freaks!!! hahaha.

Though i must admit i am pretty stressed. that is soooo suckish. anyway after hell day, it will be all over. i just have to catch up then.

anyway, hell week just got worse. haha. i was so psyched up about HIM. and awww. it's so sad. anyway i'll be here if ya change yer mind :D

it ends here.