Gratitude

September 10, 2011

 

*Inhale. Exhale.* Here it goes.

 

Normally, when something goes wrong for a friend, or for myself, I would be the one who’d go:

“Life’s a bitch. Deal with it.”

“Ganyan ang buhay eh, nanggagago.“

“Sino bang nagsabi madali ang buhay?“

 

Dyan, dyan ako magaling—ang galing ko sisihin ang mundo sa lahat ng kasamaan na nakikita ko.

Oo, masama ang mundo.

It will hurt you.

And screw with your head so much,

that sometimes you wish you weren’t born.

 

but… the world isn’t all that bad.

The world is filled with people that will and can love you.

Life can be beautiful.

When you wake up in the morning and see the sun shining, isn’t it only right that you should say: “It’s good to be alive, at least.”

 

I guess, what I’m trying to say is that: I’ve been looking at it all the wrong way. I mean, sure, Life can be a bitch, but isn’t it so much more?

(I mean, well, I can be a bitch, but I’m so much more than that, right? Maybe it applies =)) )

 

Buong buhay ko, hindi ako nakaramdam ng ganitong sense of gratitude. I guess, it’s time to look at life in a different way. Kasi dati, kapag may masamang nangyari, tinitiis ko na lang. Dapat kasi, hanapin ang mabuti sa masama—that’s the way to go. That way, it’s not torture nor martyrdom: it’s an unending well of gratitude and contentment. Life should be something like that.

 

I want to be able to say:

YES, I AM THANKFUL FOR ALL THE GOOD THINGS AND THE BAD THINGS LIFE THROWS MY WAY.

YES, THAT IS MY PAIN AND I AM THANKFUL. YES, THAT IS MY BLISS AND I AM THANKFUL.

YES, I AM AT RAGE, AND I AM THANKFUL. YES, I AM IN LOVE, AND I AM THANKFUL.

YES, THIS IS ME, AND I AM THANKFUL.

 

Coming from my recent realizations, I want to see the beauty of the world—and, perhaps, only I have the power to do that. I want to learn to love myself, and to fall in love also. I want to change from my ways and become a better person—to wake up to new mornings and new beginnings.

 

This is a start of a new life.