Intrams and Random Senior Pics. :))

Uber late post too. =))

Grad Pics. :)

Uber late post.

Dynamite. The Fourth of July.

TANAAAAAN! :)) Tagal ko na rin palang hindi nagsusulat. Yung horror story ko di ko na natuloy, bv. Pero so far, sobrang dami kong thoughts gusto ko na lang magsulat nang magsulat. :)) Di ko muna lalagyan ng metaphors at whatevers na dinedecipher  namin sa Lit13. At dahil siguro may hangover ako sa pagbabasa ng Paboritong Libro ni Hudas, medyo tatagalugin at direct na lang to. XD

Hehe. nonsense lang to, wag na basahin. :)))) XD

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Nanood ako ng Toy Story 3 kahapon. Well, in my opinion, it wasn't "Toy Story 3." It was more like of "Toy Story's The End." or at least something like that. Medyo agree ako sa kuya ko, mas maganda ang 1 and 2, sadyang nakakaiyak lang 3. :)) Anyway...

Tungkol dyan kay Woody at Buzz at si Andy (na hot na ngayon :)) ),
sobra talaga akong umiyak. Pangalawang beses ko maiyak sa loob ng sinehan (Yung una, isang Gay movie), at tulo nang tulo ang luha ko talaga.

Patungo sa dulo ng movie. (Umalis si Andy at nagcollege, naiwan ang mga laruan sa isang kapitbahay na bata), biglang pumasok sa utak ko:
SHIT. Pano kapag nangyari na sa kin yan?

Tapos napaisip ako ulit:
SHIT. Mag-iisang buwan na ako sa college. :)))))))))))))

Ayun. Haha. Mag-iisang buwan na nga ako sa college. Ano na nga ba ang naaccomplish ko? =)) Hmmm.
-Siyempre mangunguna dyan na meron na akong bagsak na quiz sa math! =))) woooooo.
-uhh. nabasa na ng ulan dahil malayo layo ang paglalakbay ko pauwi.
-nakadalawang bisita na sa UP! :)) Sana makita ko na si Zorro! XD
-Wala pa naman akong cuts.
-unti-unti ko nang napapaniwala ang mga blockmate ko na pogi ako. hahahahhaha :)))))

Anyway. Dito na papasok ang medyo serious part ng blog ko na ito.

Mag-iisang buwan na nga ako sa college. Alam niyo, akala ko dati, pagcollege ka na, parang sobrang astig mo na at parang wala kang problema kung hindi yung mga thesis or assignment mo. Tapos the rest, red carpet na lang. Hindi pala.

Dati kasi, nung bata ako, kapag nakikita ko nang college students na ang mga pinsan ko, parang ang cool na nila. Lalo naman mga alumni ng Mandsci :)) Parang enjoy enjoy lang. Parang they could take whatever life threw at them. A sense of power. A sense of strength to have your own path to pave.

But then i realized last week, nothing much in me has changed. Ganun pa rin pala. Problema sa grades, problema sa lovelife (?), problema sa pamilya. I still cry. And it's still about the same things. At parang maliit pa rin ang mundo ko dahil sa grip ng mga magulang ko. XD

I still love Jason Mraz. Bookworm pa rin ako. Nerd pa rin (haha. lalabas lang to kapag kasama ko ang mga nerdmigos ko XD ). Mahina pa rin sa math. Fave ko pa rin ang English.

Nothing much has changed. Probably, yung pamasahe at imbis na tricycle na papuntang mandsci, best friend ko na ngayon ang LRT at MRT. (in fairness, di ko bestfriend yung mga tao sa loob! Lalo na sa MRT XD)

Sabi nga ng Panic at the Disco: "Things have changed for me. And that's okay, I feel the same. I'm on my way."

Siguro, the strength and power i saw in my cousins or any college student wasn't from the title: "College Student." It's from the experience. The title just provides you new paths and new opportunities. Pero kung decision making at consequences, you're on your own bro. At siguro pagtagal tagal, marami ka nang matutunan. Yun na siguro yung kaastigan na tinutukoy ko noong bata pa ako. :)

Kaya naman, Hello college life. I don't expect to be treated well most of the time, but please do give me one heck of a ride. ;)

Pahabol lang: Medyo narealize ko rin na, it doesn't really matter kung saang university ka nag-aral. Dahil makikita mo pa rin ang mga kumag mong kaklase mula sa Mandsci :))) Haha. XD

Draft

"   ambergris (-gries') n. a secretion of the sperm whale, used in perfumes.

     ambidextrous adj. using both hands equally well.
 
     ambience n. surroundings, atmosphere. Also, ambiance. --ambient, adj.   "

Words of the day huh. I never knew that whales were used for perfumes... *Flips the newspaper pages*.

The Obituary
Honey Monroe, August 5, 2003 - April 23, 2010

I could only stare at that page.

"She ran away and got into an accident. Honey, it wasn't your fault. The time of that little girl's death was a lot earlier than when you arrived there. " Mom asked me. I was waiting for her in this cafe. I was reading the newspaper before she came.

"I know Mom. It's just, what if i got there earlier? I could've at least helped her."

"Oh honey, you have to move on. We had a great day didn't we? I'll drive you to your apartment." she said with a smile, she was right.

I nodded and we went our way.



My name is Beatrice Stranger. You can call me Bea. I'm a Med student at the Smith University and I temporarily live in an apartment near the university.

"Take care of yourself Bea." Mom said as she dropped me off.

*Creak* The wooden stairs are really old. The landlady here is really nice. But her apartment doesn't really attract many boarders. I'm the only tenant in my floor.

*she grabs the door knob and opens the door*

This is my apartment. It's not much but I can call it home, for the meantime at least. This is the small kitchen, the bathroom, my bed... oh that's my favorite pillow. I always hug that one before i go to sleep. 

I'll Save You [A Short Story]

1. I love her.

It was a bleak room made of stone. Stone walls. Stone floor. Stone tables. There was wood--tables, chairs, shelves. A lot. Books, most were kept on the shelves, the others were scattered everywhere, open on marked pages. There was this huge iron cauldron. A Knight and a wizard were sitting on the small oak table. 

"How can I save her? I've gathered the five Sacred stones and mastered the Sword Arts. I've been here for three months! Can't i go to the Forbidden Fortress to save her?" The Knight, Keith, questioned the wizard.

The Wizard looked at him with wise eyes. He raised his eyebrow and opened his mouth:

"You have followed every word i have said. And i think, you're ready. Are you? Do you want to do this? The chances are you're not coming back." he said.

"I don't care. Wise Wizard, I love her. I love Elise. She's my life. Without her, i'd rather to cease breathing." Keith replied. 

"Very well. This is the map you're going to need. The Forbidden Fortress is right in the middle of the Enchanted Forest. I wish you all the best." The Wizard opened the map, stood up and handed it over to Keith. 

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2. I'm coming for you. 

The sun rises and it sets. After 5 suns, Keith finally saw the foot of the castle he had been searching for. He had been through a lot--captured a few pixies, killed an ogre and almost poisoned by some unfamiliar fruit. The moon was full tonight. It reminded him of Elise--they would often watch the moon in their porch.

"I miss her. I miss our house. I miss our street. I miss TV. I miss my IPhone. I miss the toilet and its seat. I miss our hot shower. I miss my world." he thought to himself. 

"I've been here for three months! It's been so long. Everything seems like it's from a fairytale. Elise being trapped in a castle. Me? A knight?" he chuckled and later on slept with the thoughts of Elise.

.........................................................................................................

The following day, he ventured into the castle. Thick thorny vines crawling up upon the walls. Stone statues who seem to have succumbed to green moss. It was a dreadful place to be in. 

But alas! He hears some singing...

"I love you more today than yesterdayyy...." 

That sweet voice was Elise's! It was the song playing while they were dancing at prom. It, too, was the song playing at their dance at the reception of their wedding. 

"Sweet sweet Elise, i'm coming for you." he thought. 

He broke all the Magic Seals, defeated the sleeping monsters and even got some treasures.

He saw the door on the topmost floor. He could hear her. He could feel her. 

Keith held the metal knob of the huge wooden door. 

"But not as much as tomorrow..." she kept singing. 

He opened the door. There she was. She was staring out the window and turned around to face him. She smiled. So sweetly. 

He walked slowly towards her. Time seemed to stop when he was with her. 

She held out her hand.

He was reaching for it. 

He smiled.

She smiled.

He shed a tear.

She was shedding a lot. 

"I'll save you." he said.

"I'll save you." she said.

Then everything went black. 

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3. I'll save you. 

It was a white hospital room where the local business man, Keith was kept. There were a lot of instruments inside the room. 

The door opened, his wife Elise and a doctor went in.

"Is he coming back?" she asked the doctor.

"The chances are he's not coming back. He's been in comatose for three months, if you pull the plug, i believe he won't make it through. It could be instant death." the doctor replied.

"He must be in so much emptiness." she uttered.

"Are you sure you're cutting life supply?" the doctor asked again.

"Yes. Could you leave us alone for a few minutes?" she made her decision. It was too much--the pain, the bills, everything. The doctor went out.

...............................................................................................

"I love you honey. I didn't mean for the accident to happen." she sobbed right beside him. 

She began to sing. "I love you more today than yesterday..." she was holding his hand. 

"I can't stand seeing you like this. Isn't painful? What does it feel like? Can we make it? I don't know. You can't answer me. The doctors can't. 

I'm so sorry." she had the room to herself and it was the few minutes before Keith died, she didn't want to hold back. 

....................................................................................................

She called the doctor. It was time. 

She held Keith's hand. 

3...2.......1...

At that final second---

She was in tears. 

Keith seemed like he shed a tear.

She felt Keith's hand tighten onto her hold.

She saw him moving his lips.

"I'll save you."

BBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

One machine went. The crests and troughs it displayed became just a flat line. The doctor had pulled the plug. 

The chances are he's not coming back. 

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Stop Euthanasia. Give everybody a chance. :)

Finally! Nakapagsulat ulit. Sana nagustuhan niyo. :D mahaba at medyo weid yung umpisa. haha! :))

Can't Say Goodbye.wmv

8:33 am --- March 22, 2010

Everyone's so caught up in facebook no one would bother to read this naman.

Yes, it is the morning of the graduation. And no, this is not one of those emotional blog-happenings about the ending of high school and such. but it is emotional.

i just feeeeel so bad.

 

Kagabi, i was crying. as in. my eyes would be like wide open like this : 0_0

and then, when i think of a sad thought, tears would just roll down.

 

Ayun. so para akong autistic kagabi. admitted naman e. :))
so na share ko naman yung problem ko sa dalawang tao.

sabi nung isa, OA daw ako.

sabi nung isa, tama lang daw.

 

ewan ko. naiiyak ako e. oa na kung oa, pero iniisip ko bakit ganun? kung kausapin nila ako, parang dapat lang na naachieve ko yun. na parang, buti na lang nasatisfy ko sila. na nameet yung expectations nila at they would have something to say to other people.

well in short, i feel underappreciated. yeah. ang sama ko. it's like ive done so much for them, and they dont even appreciate it. oo, masama na kung masama, na nageexpect ako ng something in return. pero bakit ganun. ang inaappreciate nila, ay yung mga sarili nila, yung nagawa nila para sa kin. bakit ako hindi nila inaappreciate yung efforts ko mismo? wala siguro kayong naiintindihan dito, kung may nagbabasa man. haha.

well at some part, oo iniisip ko rin na OA ako. eh kasi naman e, kung ganun sila. edi ganun sila. bakit ko sila pakikialaman. kung gagraduate man ako at magiispeech dun, hindi ko gagawin yun para sa kanila. kung di para sa sarili ko.

if that's the way they are then i should just deal with it. they sort of have a point. i just feel bad about myself because i see how other parents react. maybe in some part, naiinggit lang ako, dahil hindi sila ganun sa akin.

ngayon, nagfflashback lahat ng ikinatampo ko ngayong year. nakakaiyak. lagi na lang akong talo. pero bayaan ko na. magcocollege na ko, in a five years, i'll be free.

 

all i needed was some attention. but they made me feel like i was more of an obligation. ayoko na, naiiyak na naman ako dito. baka mukha akong sabog mamaya.

bahala na si Lord!