8:33 am --- March 22, 2010

Everyone's so caught up in facebook no one would bother to read this naman.

Yes, it is the morning of the graduation. And no, this is not one of those emotional blog-happenings about the ending of high school and such. but it is emotional.

i just feeeeel so bad.

 

Kagabi, i was crying. as in. my eyes would be like wide open like this : 0_0

and then, when i think of a sad thought, tears would just roll down.

 

Ayun. so para akong autistic kagabi. admitted naman e. :))
so na share ko naman yung problem ko sa dalawang tao.

sabi nung isa, OA daw ako.

sabi nung isa, tama lang daw.

 

ewan ko. naiiyak ako e. oa na kung oa, pero iniisip ko bakit ganun? kung kausapin nila ako, parang dapat lang na naachieve ko yun. na parang, buti na lang nasatisfy ko sila. na nameet yung expectations nila at they would have something to say to other people.

well in short, i feel underappreciated. yeah. ang sama ko. it's like ive done so much for them, and they dont even appreciate it. oo, masama na kung masama, na nageexpect ako ng something in return. pero bakit ganun. ang inaappreciate nila, ay yung mga sarili nila, yung nagawa nila para sa kin. bakit ako hindi nila inaappreciate yung efforts ko mismo? wala siguro kayong naiintindihan dito, kung may nagbabasa man. haha.

well at some part, oo iniisip ko rin na OA ako. eh kasi naman e, kung ganun sila. edi ganun sila. bakit ko sila pakikialaman. kung gagraduate man ako at magiispeech dun, hindi ko gagawin yun para sa kanila. kung di para sa sarili ko.

if that's the way they are then i should just deal with it. they sort of have a point. i just feel bad about myself because i see how other parents react. maybe in some part, naiinggit lang ako, dahil hindi sila ganun sa akin.

ngayon, nagfflashback lahat ng ikinatampo ko ngayong year. nakakaiyak. lagi na lang akong talo. pero bayaan ko na. magcocollege na ko, in a five years, i'll be free.

 

all i needed was some attention. but they made me feel like i was more of an obligation. ayoko na, naiiyak na naman ako dito. baka mukha akong sabog mamaya.

bahala na si Lord!