Ang Igneous Rock Theory ng Pag-ibig

Ang Igneous Rock Theory ng Pag-ibig

Igneous rocks can be classified according to where they are formed: within the earth’s crust (intrusive) and outside the earth’s crust (extrusive).

Intrusive igneous rocks are characterized by large crystals as they are slowly cooled within the earth’s crust. They are coarse-grained: visible crystalline structure. Extrusive igneous rocks, on the other hand, are quickly cooled because of the contact with cool air or water; thus, they are fine-grained (non-visible crystalline structure).

 

*At ‘yan ang ilan sa natatandaan ko sa Earth Science ko noong high school. :)) And I guess, hinihintay niyo na kung paano ko ito i-rerelate sa pag-ibig. =)) (at baka sa huli ko na gawin yun)

Sa personal experience ko bilang nilalang dito sa lupang ibabaw, masasabi ko na maraming forms ng pag-ibig (at oo, alam nating lahat yun). Pero ang gusto kong talakayin dito ay ang friendship love, romantic love at pro-romantic love (yes, bagong term ko yan).

Friendship love and romantic love are pretty straightforward—yung isa para sa pinakamamahal niyong mga ka-tropa at yung latter ay para sa taong gusto mong makasama habang buhay bilang lover.

 

Ano ang pro-romantic love?

Pro-romantic love is short for “prospective romantic love”. Ito yung tipo ng “pag-ibig” o damdamin na sinasabing “uy, mukhang may potensyal to, kilalanin pa natin”. And there, you have an intention. Intentions come with expectations (in checklists may be). Expectations come from selfishness and too much (I don’t know how much) selfishness hinders “true romantic love”. Ito siguro yung “infatuation phase” or yung mga crush-crush, MU-MU. To emphasize, pro-romantic love starts with an intention.

 

On another note, romantic love cannot have started to exist by itself between two people (as with all forms of love, I guess). Sabihin na lang natin na ang maaaring precursor ng romantic love are (but not limited to): friendship love and pro-romantic love.

 

Okay, Abba, so anong masasabi mo sa pro-romantic love?

Hmm nag-isip-isip ako kaninang madaling araw at kagabi tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay. (At dahil napanood ko si Barney at Robin sa How I Met Your Mother) Napaisip ako na mas magandang pundasyon ang friendship love (shortcut na natin to FL) kaysa sa pro-romantic love (PL).

 

Okay, Abba, so saan pumapasok ang Igneous rocks dito?

Isipin nating parehong magma ang FL at PL. Yung magma na lalabas sa earth’s crust ay PL at yung magma na mananatili sa loob ng lupa ay FL. So extrusive: PL; at intrusive: FL.

 

 

Extrusive (Volcanic) Igneous Rocks

Magsisimula muna ako sa PL. Like I said, ang PL ay may intention kaagad. You want to get to know this person more because it looks like you can get something out of it (wag kayong magdeny na hindi ito totoo). Siguro, maganda siya, mabait siya, ideal niyong bf/gf. And you try to get closer just to see if there’s something there. And from getting to know that person, it goes two ways: (1) You find you like her/his personality or (2) you get turned off by something you find out (at this point baka mag-on na kayo tapos mag-aaway kayo dahil sa “irreconcilable differences” at later on, magbbreak; with the assumption nga lang na hindi lahat ng relationships ay may RL).

 

So parang magma (RL potential) yan na naging intention mong ilabas sa lupa (lava na ang tawag kapag nasa labas na ng lupa) para magcool para maging bato. Finely-grained siya: mahirap icharacterize ang crystalline structure. Saan ba to galing? Composition? Paano nagform? Medyo tricky ang simula (nauuna ang intention bago ang getting-to-know-each-other), pero kung umabot sa RL, okay na rin.   

 

Intrusive (Plutonic) Igneous Rocks

Ah, so FL na tayo. Ito ay marahil mas kilala bilang “Friends zone” or “Sister/brother zone”. Hindi ito nagsisimula sa kahit anong intention at minimal ang expectations ng FL (aba, basta mapagkakatiwalaan ka nang tunay). Ito yung tipo ng pag-ibig na: kilala mo na tong taong to, alam mo na lahat ng kalokohan nito, marami na kayong pinagdaanan at mahal mo siya bilang kaibigan. From here, this can go three ways: (1) mag-aaway kayo and/or mawawala ang FL, (2) you’ll stay as very good friends all your life and (3) marerealize mo na you want to spend your life with this person at mapupunta sa classic dilemma na “mas importante ba ang friendship namin?” (dito pa lang papasok ang intention: parang yung mga magiiloveyou sa kabarkada tapos masisira yung friendship because “I see you as a friend…” na drama)

 

So same thing, magma (RL potential) na nasa loob ng lupa, na napakatagal bago magcool down. Wala kang intention ilabas at madaliin, mababato ka nga lang sa kakahintay. Coarse-grained ang plutonic rocks. Madali silang icharacterize (at di ko alam kung ano talagang characterization na ginagawa ng mga geologist…). Kitang-kita ang pagform ng crystals, maaaring magkaroon ng vesicles (air packets na ang pangit tingnan sa bato), pero at least kita naman. So parang, kilalang-kilala mo tong taong to, at nagulat ka na lang na gusto mong i-level up ang FL mo.

 

Matinong Comparison ng Intrusive Igneous Rocks at Extrusive Igneous Rocks

1. Likelihood to form RL: So, kapag ang pathway ay patungo sa surface (extrusive at PL), mataas-taas ang probabilidad na maging bato nga. Mabilis ang cooling eh. Halos lahat naman ata ng lava nagiging bato. Ang problema nga lang ay anong klaseng bato ba yang nafform mo? Mabilis malagyan ng impurities ang minerals ng lava. Exposed sa surface, mabilis maweather. Same thing sa PL, one way or another may form ng RL na magagawa (pwede ring akalang RL). Prospective love, Crushes, MUs, mas madali silang pumasok into relationship mode kaysa sa FL (kumplikado ang proseso nun sa FL). Medyo mas concrete ang pathway ng PL, kasi nga may concrete intention na ipinepresent. Ang magma naman na nasa ilalim ng lupa, hindi lahat yan magcocool, hindi lahat magiging bato eventually.
2. Time it takes to cool – Ah, malamang mas mabilis ang extrusive kaysa sa intrusive. Like I said, may external forces na sa extrusive (mas maccool sila ng tubig/air). Same thing sa PL (give it a year or a few months at posible maging kayo na), since may intention na nga, may alam na kayong direction na gusto niyong tahakin. Sa FL naman, wala pang intention at kahit ano, tipong “let our friendship grow” kind of phase. Lilipas ang taon bago mo marealize na “crush” mo pala siya. At medyo mas kumplikado ang pagpasok sa relationship mode.
3. Getting-to-know and Intention – Sa PL, nauuna ang intention bago ang getting-to-know. Sa FL, nauuna ang getting-to-know bago ang intention. Expectations come with intentions, so ganun din.

 

So, Abba, anong point mo?

(di na ko gagamit ng geology references, nakakapagod na)

 

Ang point ko ay…

Dati kasi hindi ako super convinced na ang one of the best types of couples ay yung may foundation ng friendship (yung parang bestfriend). Alam niyo yung feeling na parang, everyone says it so it must be true kind of thing, ganun siguro yung naging disbelief ko. I mean, I never really thought about it up until last night. And the verdict is…

I agree.

 

So ayun ang Igneous rock theory ng pag-ibig. Actually, classification lang ata siya. Hmm, disclaimer: lahat ng sinulat ko tungkol sa teoryang ito ay galing lang sa personal experience ko. Tama siya para sa akin, pero bahala na kayo kung applicable sa buhay niyo. :))

 

---------------------------------------------

About Abba

 

Actually, parang yung FL pathway na lang yung gusto ko talaga. I’m not saying that the PL pathway doesn’t work for other people but, naffeel ko na it’s not for me. I know myself, and I’m the type of person na kapag may goal ako (“intention”) I do everything just to get to that goal. I become selfish. I become very computing sa mga actions na ginagawa ko. And, worst of all, I expect. (and yun siguro yung worst thing, expectations). Yun siguro yung pinakamalaking hindrance sa akin towards RL. Madaling madisappoint at madaling masaktan dahil sa expectations.

 

Ako, kung kilala niyo ko, I’m very attached to my dearest friends (the ones I trust my life with). Ako yung tipong kapag tinanong nila na tumalon ako sa building, malamang pag-iisipan ko pa kung oo or hindi, depende sa dahilan nila. And I realized, I don’t expect much from them. I don’t even expect to see/talk to them regularly. Just as long as may affirmation lang na magkaibigan kami, kuntento na ako. And I want to be there for them, for as long as I can. I love them very much.

 

Sa buong buhay ko, I’ve said “I love you” to five guys.

Two were PL classified.

Three were from FL.

The two from PL turned out that I sort of didn’t mean what I said, everything has changed between me and those two guys. And the ones from FL, I still say/I can say “I love you” up until now ‘cause we’re still friends (haha 4 years na ata yung dalawa dun).

I further realized that the “I love you” from PL is different from the “I love you” from FL. If it’s PL, it takes a lot of time and guts to say it. (Para bang mag-iisip ka pa na: totoo ba to? Anong mangyayari kapag sinabi ko to? Will things change? Sana mag-I love you too siya.) There is a lot of hesitation—because the initial expectation is afraid to be rejected into disappointment. On the other hand, the one from FL is entirely different. It feels like the most natural thing to say in the world. No hesitation, no expectation, it is merely expression of the wonders of the friendship we have and how they mean to me.

 

And siguro, yun ang gusto ko. Ayokong maghesitate to say “I love you” to a person I love. Because one thing I learned from some experiences I had is that: if you can’t admit to yourself that you love that person, even if you do, you don’t. Hesitation, expectation, they all are hindrances towards love that is selfless and real.

 

Alam kong mahirap na magmahal ng kaibigan/kabarkada in that way (I’m not saying yun ang nararamdaman ko ngayon ah! =)) ), kasi kumplikado yan. Dadating pa yan sa point na baka magulo ang buong friendship niyo at yada-yada. Pero then again, what is love without risk? It all comes to that: taking a giant leap and hoping to fall into the arms of the right person.

 

So ang conclusion talaga nitong lahat ay: ayoko nang magsimula sa “prospect”. Gusto ko, kung maiinlove man, unexpected na lang within our friendship. Increased selfishness will follow after (it’s inevitable) but I guess the initial selflessness you have for this person might cancel it out. Expectations… well siguro mageexpect ka na lang kapag nasa relationship na kayo, kung wala pa, malamang alam mo na kung anong ieexpect mo =)) (magkaibigan kayo eh, dapat kilala mo na siya).

 

 

Cheers to those who dance to the melodies of the world’s romance. 

Hindi ka maliligtas ni Kapitan Sino. (blog entry)

Tatlong araw pa lang ang nakalilipas bago nagsimula ang second semester. At alam niyo, more than ever in my life, ngayon ko lang ulit naramdaman na kilala ko kung sino ako. (at nakarealize din ako ng mga bagay-bagay :)) )

It's easy to lose yourself in a crowd you keep trying to fit in to. 

Ewan ko, kung sadyang hipster lang talaga at nonconformist ako, pero napansin ko talaga (not limited to myself) na madali palang mawala. The more you try to instantly change for what you think is 'better', it will probably bite you back. Actually, I don't think that the word 'change' should be the one used to refer to one's personality, i think 'growth' is better. Know who you are, even the bad things about you--because you can never change right away. You can grow slowly but never force yourself into being someone you really aren't.

Recently, I noticed that I've been trying to fit in to groups of people (that I perhaps envy or feel like I want to be). Siguro yung mga tipong "I want to feel loved" group or like "I want to be taken care of" group. I am a strong person--I know that. I like taking care of people, I like making people feel loved. Sometimes, it gets tiring. And sometimes, I just want to take a break (yung parang ako naman ang pasayahin niyo =)) ). And I guess, the feelings like these just built up recently (mga 12+ years na rin).

Well tao din naman ako, napapagod. 

Pero, lalo akong nawala eh. The more I tried to look for affection and attention by acting and eventually becoming 'weak', the more I lost myself and what I was looking for. Hindi bagay sa akin ang nag-eemo oras-oras. Hindi bagay sa akin yung iyak nang iyak. (Cool kasi ako =)) ) Ako dapat yung madadapa nang onti, iiyak nang onti sa mga mahal kong kaibigan, hihinga nang malalim tapos dapat okay na (grabe nagka 3 month depression ata ako). Fight lang. Yun ako. 

Pagpasok ko nang college, sabi ko sa sarili ko, maglay-low na lang. Ayokong ma-notice ng mga tao. Ayokong magtake ng responsibility. Pero nang tumagal, hindi ko rin naiwasan yung mga bagay na gusto ko gawin (ang excuse ko lang naman ay kasi nakakapagod na). Edi nagtake na ko ng responsibility pero hindi pa rin nawala yung mentality na "pagod na ako. I want something in return" na feeling. I looked for attention/affection, I guess. Tipong dapat may kapalit tong ginagawa ko. Maybe to find someone I can confide to and just be 'weak' to that person. And just my luck, it was a wrong person. (Isa sa mga rule ko sa buhay ay hindi magtiwala nang lubusan kaagad) I wanted to become weak, just so i could feel what it was like to be comforted or to have someone 'strong' carry me. And lo, when those people hurt my trust, i just really lost myself. Acting weak, eventually came to 'I became weak.' 

Gusto ko lang kumapit somewhere. Because I lost myself while trying to 'get' things that were not meant for me. Naging greedy siguro ako.

Nabasa ko yung sinulat ko sa isa sa mga notebook ko. Ang sabi ko:

"Sanay ako nang mag-isa. Mas gusto ko na mag-isa akong nagtatrabaho. Hindi madalas ang pagtitiwala ko sa tao at sa pag-asa ko sa mga tao."

--> Yan yung ako na ginusto kong itapon. Kasi yang mga traits na yan ang nagpapahirap sa akin. Pero alam niyo, nung nawala yan, mas nawala ako. =)) 

Nakasulat dun sa notebook na yun na: "Ako yung tipo ng tao na ibibigay ko ang lahat na makakaya ko sa mga taong mahal ko na kahit walang kapalit." (siguro kahit hindi pantay yung kapalit =)) ) Love is manifested in many ways. I tried to grasp a manifestation (or manifestations) that looked inviting but wasn't meant for me. Yung love na para sa akin (well so far) ay yung kahit malayo sila, or kahit hindi ko sila kasama, mahal pa rin ako. :)) The love that transcends space and time. It's not always physically and obviously there, but yung tipo na alam sa puso at kaluluwa na minamahal ka.=)) Yun yung sa akin. Masarap ang feeling. (at mas masarap yung feeling na hindi ka na naghahangad nang iba pa.)