Merry Christmas! (to those of families like mine)

On Christmas Day, Family and the Irresponsibility of the Society

By Abba Marie Moreno

Christmas day is about the birth of Christ, the savior of us all. Although his birth was most likely in the months of March and April, the Vatican declared its celebration to be on the 25^th of December—in time for the pagan celebrations, to facilitate immediate adaptation for converts. Christmas is about celebrating Christ: rekindling the Christianity in each of us we tend to take for granted the rest of the 364 days of the year (although we should really stop doing that).

Like everything else in the world, Christmas is one of the most commercialized holidays in the world—thank you Modern Society! We celebrate Christmas through shopping, gifts, trees (for fulfilling a pagan tradition), decorations, stockings, chestnuts, ham, etcetera, etcetera. And with commercialization, Society has never failed to ‘brand’ things, ‘label’ them (a very likely marketing strategy, or perhaps sharing a common mental construct helps Society to stay together). Christmas has always been associated with: Christ (obviously, and Christianity, of course), Trees, Carols, Sharing, Giving, Santa Claus (I still don’t get why), Elves, Reindeer, Snow (for other countries) and many other things—but I want to focus on one particular label we associate with Christmas: family.

 

Society spreads the idea of having one’s family complete and happy during Christmas:

“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree:  the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.”  --Burton Hillis

There are tons of quotes in respective Hallmark cards about how family (though physically apart or together) is supposed to be during Christmas. A family should strive to be complete during this day. A family should enjoy each other’s company, the gifts are only secondary. A family should forget all their problems and forgive one another during Christmas. And for the most part, Christmas is meant to be celebrated with your family. Society encourages that, if not demands it.

Don’t get me wrong though, I totally support the idea they’re getting through. Jesus was born into a loving family on that day, why not celebrate it as a family too? I’m for it.

It’s just that I find it very irresponsible in the part of our Society to keep its paradigm on Christmas-and-family after all the change it has ushered (if not demanded) into the modern times. Between 1971 and 2011, certain European countries have finally legalized Divorce (leaving only the Philippines and the Vatican City in the globe without divorce procedures). For those who fear breaking a commitment, Society offered Annulment and Legal Separation. Since 1973, abortion has been legal in the US. Most of Europe and key countries in Asia have it abortion also legalized (others with special circumstances). (And, yes, I do acknowledge the fact that these methods may have improved the lives of others, just hear me out bros.)

Forty-percent of the children in the US grew up (will grow up) without a father: so says the website I just checked out.

What I’m trying to say is that: after making available these opportunities to break up families, how can Society remain inconsiderate? I’ve never seen a Hallmark card for a single parent or for a child with divorced parents. Okay, fine, it is a bit selfish and biased but hey, what do you think forty-percent of children in the US will feel after seeing a Christmas card with a picture of a complete family? Most children will get over it after a few years, but the initial sadness will always be there: I don’t belong to a normal family. Thoughts like: Christmas is about family, we should be together, but Dad is away.

I know that the Broken-family-type is a minority in the population, causing change for them is unnecessary, if not unreasonable: most families are, well, not broken. I’m not asking for anything either, I’m not really sure whether specialized Hallmark cards is for the best. It’s just that I find it so unfair: how Christmas is enjoyed by almost everyone else and I can’t. (Yes, this is not an objective view of the topic discussed.) Everyone says these things about having complete and happy families—but what if you don’t belong to one? Is your Christmas less than theirs? Sociologically, I’m afraid yes. Society (its greetings, its Christmas cards, billboards, posters) is very inconsiderate of us unfortunate few.

I’ll go back to the first lines I wrote: Christmas is about Christ, about celebrating His birth in your heart. As long as you’re celebrating Christmas as it really is, there is nothing to feel bad about.

Merry Christmas, regardless if your family is complete or not. :)

Leo (my version of 'Aquarius' by Spektor)

Leo

By Abba Marie Moreno

(A version of ‘Aquarius’ by Regina Spektor)

 

Dear someone listening in the shadows,

I only talk to you sometimes

And though I ask for help in riddles

It is clearer in my mind,

Clearer in my mind.

 

Born of a sign that roars in fire,

But in a month that’s always silent.

I know I don’t question things too quickly,

But I’ve always questioned if I’ve loved,

Loved.

 

Dear someone watching from the shadows,

I’m hunting down my dreams.

I’ve held my chin up high and proud,

But there is something that’s amiss,

Something that’s amiss.

 

Born of a sign that roars in fire,

But in a month that whispers silence.

And though I don’t question things too quickly,

I’ve always wondered if I’ve loved,

Wondered if I’ve loved.

 

Dear someone watching in the shadows,

You’ve seen me roar alone once more,

I’m not the gentlest of all creatures,

Because there’s something I’m fighting for,

Someone I’m fighting for.

 

Born of a sign that roars of pride,

But in a month that whispers silence.

I’m not the gentlest of all creatures,

But I’ll be tamed by only love.

I’m not the gentlest of all creatures,

But I’ll be tamed by only love,

Tamed by only love,

Love. 

I Love You Like No Other (Poem)

I Love You Like No Other

By Abba Marie Moreno

___ ______ __ ____ _______,

__ _____ __ _________ _____.

_ ___’_ ____ __ ____ ___ ____.

_ ____ ___ ____ __ _____.

 

_ ___’_ ______ ____ ___ ____

__ ____ ____, ___ _’_ ____ ____:

____ __ ___ ____ ___ _ ___ ___,

_ ____ ___ ____ __ _____.

 

____ ____ __ ______ ___,

___ ___ _ ____ ______ ______.

___ ____ __ ___ ____ ___,

_ ___ ____ _____ ___:

_ ____ ___. 

 

(I could always pick out

the words, without a doubt,

what my feelings were all about,

but this, a yesterday’s without,

 

leaves this poem wordless.) 

In Response.

“Gusto kitang sagipin.

kahit delikado. 

Mahal kasi kita. 

Mahal na mahal.

na mahal.”

 

“Ako si Duwag. Ikaw si Matulin. (padalus-dalos)

Ako ay kayang maging si Matapang para sa yo-

si Mabilis, si Malakas, si Maganda, si Matalino,

si Marangya, si Makulit, si Maaasahan.

Ang tulin mo kasi eh. Bakit ka ganyan?

Mahal na mahal

na mahal

na tuloy kita.”

 

“Dumidilim na yata, 

Alam mong takot ako sa dilim. 

-dahil ako nga si Duwag. 

Baka tamaan tayo ng kidlat. 

Lalo ka na. Mahal pa naman kita.”

 

“Kumapit ka nga sa puso ko,  iyan iaabot ko.

Huwag ka sanang makulit sa pagkakataong to.”

 

All quoted from a love letter of a friend.

I read the letter five times, I think. And I cried 3 out of the 5 times. Never mind the who’s involved in the letter. I cried because of the purity of the emotion, the familiarity of the feeling, the love I’ve lost to precaution. The words the writer used: they were the words of a madman crazy in love—no precaution, no walls, no fallbacks: I am in love (period!)

 

I cried, perhaps, because it seems that I have lost the ability to be head-over-heels in love with somebody. It’s been all do’s-and-don’ts, checklists, labels, what to avoid, what to prevent: measures to ensure my heart stays intact. Pero look at what the letter says:

“Kumapit ka nga sa puso ko,  iyan iaabot ko,”

 That is what I had before. It’s not stupid when the person who hands out his heart knows the consequences. It’s total surrender. It is, perhaps, love.

 

I lost all my Romance to Reality.

And what is a poet of love, without his romance?