In Response.

“Gusto kitang sagipin.

kahit delikado. 

Mahal kasi kita. 

Mahal na mahal.

na mahal.”

 

“Ako si Duwag. Ikaw si Matulin. (padalus-dalos)

Ako ay kayang maging si Matapang para sa yo-

si Mabilis, si Malakas, si Maganda, si Matalino,

si Marangya, si Makulit, si Maaasahan.

Ang tulin mo kasi eh. Bakit ka ganyan?

Mahal na mahal

na mahal

na tuloy kita.”

 

“Dumidilim na yata, 

Alam mong takot ako sa dilim. 

-dahil ako nga si Duwag. 

Baka tamaan tayo ng kidlat. 

Lalo ka na. Mahal pa naman kita.”

 

“Kumapit ka nga sa puso ko,  iyan iaabot ko.

Huwag ka sanang makulit sa pagkakataong to.”

 

All quoted from a love letter of a friend.

I read the letter five times, I think. And I cried 3 out of the 5 times. Never mind the who’s involved in the letter. I cried because of the purity of the emotion, the familiarity of the feeling, the love I’ve lost to precaution. The words the writer used: they were the words of a madman crazy in love—no precaution, no walls, no fallbacks: I am in love (period!)

 

I cried, perhaps, because it seems that I have lost the ability to be head-over-heels in love with somebody. It’s been all do’s-and-don’ts, checklists, labels, what to avoid, what to prevent: measures to ensure my heart stays intact. Pero look at what the letter says:

“Kumapit ka nga sa puso ko,  iyan iaabot ko,”

 That is what I had before. It’s not stupid when the person who hands out his heart knows the consequences. It’s total surrender. It is, perhaps, love.

 

I lost all my Romance to Reality.

And what is a poet of love, without his romance?