"Hold your own. Know your name and go your own way. And everything will be fine." --Jason Mraz
That's what Jason Mraz sang in his song. "Details in the Fabric" And hell, that's just what i ought to do.
I'm blogging my heart out today. I just really need to. we all know writing is my output and here it is. One will know some things about me if one reads this.
ALRIGHTIE THEN.
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Cupid told Psyche, before he left, "Love cannot live where there is no trust."
HAY NAKO. ang emo ko. =)) well alam nung iba kung bakit. it's a family thing. it's a house thing.
ayun. ayoko nang umuwi. [ironic, yes, i am at home] pero yun nga e.
Kung dati masasabi ko pa na : "Hayyy, I'm home at last!"
Now i would be like: "Ugh. Home."
I wont deny it, YES. i have been out most of the school nights. DOING SCHOOL WORK. doing the things i ought to be doing. and guess what? I get scolded for doing the right thing.
Ang dali naman kasing sabihin sa mga groupmates mo na: Uy, kailangan ko nang umuwi, sorry ha, di ako makakaattend.
PERO HINDI AKO GANOONG TAO. i know how to acknowledge the efforts of others and my conscience cannot bear the fact na nagpapahinga ako at yung iba nahihirapan.
EH yun pala yung gusto nila e. wag ako umattend, bayaan ko yung ibang groupmates ko ang gumawa. Para hindi ako mahirapan. THEN, I have just contradicted and thrown all the things i have learned in my sixteen years of living about Empathy, Unity and Cooperation.
ANO BA?! Stop treating me as if i'm doing something wrong!
Well sure, nahihirapan, nag-aalala. and stuff like that. but if one expresses love and concern in a way that pains the one you care about, well by golly, is it still love then?
I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE I'M STUPID. I KNOW WHAT TO DO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOVE IT IN MY FACE AND MAKE ME LOOK LIKE SHIT. that's the feeling i hate the most. I know. I know. I know. I know for one that ang laki ng pagkukulang ko, dahil wala ako. yes, i wont deny it. marami akong pagkukulang ngayon.
PERO DONT TREAT ME AS IF I DONT HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR IT.
sorry ah. i guess i simply had the notion that "Family will always understand." Well i guess they dont. they just expect so much from you.
I HATE BEING HELD BACK.
I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE I'M STUPID.
I HATE COMPROMISING VALUES.
AND I TERRIBLY HATE THE FACT THAT I'M WRITING THIS BLOG ABOUT THE PEOPLE THAT I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL TO.
i hate the fact that i feel like i just have to go home--and not want to. this is what i really feel. and it's just sad.
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i know this is just an obstacle that God has planned for me. I know that He gives me strength. Please dont think that this show of rage is a sign of my rebellious and unruly behavior. Kahit papano, tao rin ako, dapat mairelease din. :D
