College Etiquette

Before I start, sasabihin ko muna that this will be very opinionated, I'm not imposing anything on anyone and these are my thoughts alone, I don't mean to offend anyone. And i'm not saying di ko ginagawa ang mga masasabi ko dito, nagawa ko na ang ilan but i certainly am not proud of them. I'm just saying that these are ways on how to improve our behavior

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Okay, so wala akong laptop ngayon, at hindi ako makapagsulat at matatago sa files ko, kaya babalikan ko itong blog ko. Dito ako maglalabas ng sama ng loob.

Sa totoo lang, wala naman akong problema sa kolehiyo eh. I love being in the university. The stepping stone to where your dreams might come true. Masarap mag-aral. Masarap makakita ng classroom, may mga prof na hindi mo talaga makakalimutan, maraming experience. I love being in the university.

It's just that sometimes, it becomes unbearable for me. I must say I've been getting annoyed so much by some people. Not that I have a big problem with them, I mean they're okay personally, nice people--but it's just that they don't act like they're in a learning institution.

Take it this way: For example, you are eating out with a friend or an acquaintance, they're very nice people, good in conversation, trustworthy. But you suddenly see that they place their elbows on the table while eating, or they burp in front of you while eating. You'll notice it, it'll seem unpleasant, but you go on with your life.

So that's what I want to talk about, college etiquette, you can call it. Behavior that should be observed in a classroom or in learning places in the university (note: hindi ito kasama sa org stuff or org places). I just feel like bringing this out before another semester starts because honestly, most people these days have completely forgotten all about it. I don't want to end up scolding people in school in a sudden burst of "losing it". 


Sige, isa-isahin natin.

1. Respect the professor.
-Ang mga prof, nagtatrabaho yan, magtuturo sila, magbibigay ng sangkatutak reading, magbibigay ng madugong exam, magbibigay ng homework. Trabaho nila yan, pero hindi nila trabaho maging manhid (at napipilitan na lang ata sila). Tao rin sila, may kakayahan silang masaktan, o mabastos sa mga pinaggagawa ng mga estudyante nila sa classroom. Kung ayaw mo sa teaching style niya, ok lang, edi ayaw mo, di ka naman pipilitin na baguhin ang opinyon mo.

Pero sana lang, wag ka nang pumasok kung: a) matutulog ka lang, b) maglalaro sa laptop and/or other electronic devices, c) dadaldalin lang ang katabi mo.

Kung galit na galit ka na talaga sa prof at di mo siya nirerespeto at gusto mong ipakita ang pagkamuhi mo sa kanya, edi respetuhin mo na lang yung mga estudyanteng nirerespeto ang prof mo. Sa tingin mo gusto nilang may humahalakhak sa gitna ng lecture? Sa tingin mo gusto nilang nakikita yung disappointed na mukha ng prof mo kapag napansin niya nang hindi nakikinig ang kalahati ng klase? Ilang beses ko na yun nakita. Masakit din para sa kin. Inuulit ko: tao po ang mga prof natin; ginagawa niya trabaho niya, gawin din natin trabaho natin.

(Di ko sinasabing perpektong estudyante ako, naranasan ko nang makatulog sa klase, mga tatlong beses na, dahil sa sobrang puyat. And sorry pa rin ako hanggang ngayon na ginawa ko yun, ginusto kong pumasok pa rin para makinig. Pero iba ang usapan na sinasadya mong tulugan ang prof mo o sinasadyang bastusin siya, for that matter).

Please, respect begets respect.

2. Hindi lugar ng landian ang classroom
-Medyo conservative pa rin akong tao at alam kong nasa college na tayo at dapat maging mas open sa mga bagay-bagay katulad nito. In all honesty, when you're with friends or in a more private place, why not? They'd understand, but people youre unfamiliar with? Uhh I'm not okay with that. In a class? Definitely not okay with that. Kapag sa classroom kasi while people are learning, it's very unsettling to know weird things are happening around you. Parang nakababastos sa academic institution.

Analogy (para sa kin): kumakain ka tapos biglang nag-open up ng topic ang kasama mo kumain tungkol sa tae.

Nakakawalang gana di ba? Parang ganun din ang nakikita kong PDA kapag gusto kong matuto. Lalo na sa library... please lang. Itigil niyo na. Gusto ko magbasa, pero hindi maiwasan mapansin. Okay okay, sasabihin niyo: edi wag mo na lang pansinin... UHH HOW CAN I? kissy noises, sweet talk. And at some point, ako pa ang mahihiya na nakita ko sila, when it should be the other way around. Inuulit ko, it's more acceptable if it's in a place where no teaching/learning is happening, where people aren't trying to concentrate. It's okay to be sweet in public places, just don't cross the line. Always keep in mind that we are in a prestigious academic institution. You're here to study and let others study as well.

3. Groupwork Etiquette
-Hindi maiiwasan sa college ang maggroupwork. Okay, yan: develops interpersonal relations, gives more perspective and insights, shares the work, at kung gusto magbigay ng points ang prof niyo. Okay ang mga groupwork. Pero hindi okay ang sumusunod:
     a. aakuhin mo ang trabaho, pero sa huli magrereklamo ka na hindi ka tinulungan ng groupmates mo kasi hindi mo natapos. Sira ulo ka pala eh. Kaya nga groupwork ang tawag. Lesson: It's okay to have an idea of what to do sa project, i-open sa groupmates at magpatulong.
     b. Hindi mo sisiputin ang mga kagrupo mo kapag nag-arranged meeting kayo; without even a word to your groupmates at magpapakita ka na lang kapag isusubmit na o finishing touches na lang.
     c. Mang-OOP ng kagrupo dahil hindi niyo sya ka-course o kaibigan (at hindi mag-iiwan ng trabaho para sa kanya). Divide the work accordingly (kung mas mahirap na icontact, edi ibigay ang work sa kanya na kayang isend... kung busy ang isa, wag tatambakan... respeto lang, group kayo)
     d. Sasabihin mo na gagawin mo yung part mo, pero hindi mo pala gagawin at sasabihin mo lang kapag icocollect na ng magcocompile ang mga trabaho niyo.
     e. Kung alam mong hindi na dadating yung part na hinihintay mo in time o sadyang di mapagkakatiwalaan si groupmate, gawin mo na yung project niyo. Wag ka na maging miserable dyan at maiinis na unfair, dahil umaandar ang oras. Kausapin si groupmate about sa nangyari (baka family emergency) at kausapin ang prof tungkol sa circumstance. Bayaan mo na lang na sa grade nya magreflect ang actions niya. Kung tamad ang groupmate mo, wag mong tanggapin ang katamaran bilang kontribusyon nya sa project niyo--dahil hindi yun matatapos.
     f. etc.

Maraming problema ang nararanasan sa group work. Mas malaki ang entropy, mas marami kayo eh. Pero ang piece of advice ko lang: Don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you.

And instead of having problems and coming up with a shitty project, a group work is an opportunity to do great things! Videos, plays, magazines, papers, presentations, come on, would you pass up the chance to do something awesome? More members mean more manpower, mas marami kayong kaya iaccomplish. Harness the power of a group! =)) Hindi naman siguro nagpagroupwork ang prof niyo kung gusto niya lang kayong pag-awayin; he wants to see an awesome output, that's why.

4. Procrastinating, Ranting Etiquette
-Okay, don't judge me yet! Alam ko na ang procrastination at ranting ay pareho nang likas sa buhay estudyante. Mangyayari at mangyayari yan, gustuhin mo man o hindi. I'm not gonna say that it's unacceptable to procrastinate or to rant. In fact, there are feats of procrastination worth mentioning. :)) Pero ito lang ang ayaw ko sa dalawang habits na ito:
     a. Procrastination: Hindi ko alam para sa ibang tao, pero ayokong nakakakita ng mga taong nagpprocrastinate, tapos pagnagtest/hw, bagsak sila, tapos sisisihin nila ay ibang bagay. Dude, kung kasalanan mo, edi tanggapin mo na lang. You didn't try hard enough, and admitting is the first step towards trying harder in the next exam. Wag mong sisihin ang teaching style ng prof mo kung ang study habits mo ang problema.
     b. Ranting: Ranting is okay. Hindi maiiwasan maging upset sa prof/groupmates/or on something. It helps when you voice out and have someone to listen to you. But for me there is inappropriate ranting. For example, magrarant ka about kung gaano kahirap ng project niyo for 5 hours eh kung ginamit mo na lang yung oras na yun para gawin yung project mo o naghanap ka na lang ng tulong o solution. Naiinis ako sa mga ganun. Kung gusto may paraan, kung ayaw laging may dahilan. Ranting and feeling upset is okay, just know your limits at kung sino ang nadadamay mo. Kung groupwork yan, at may naghihintay ng part mo, mahiya ka naman sa groupmate mo.


Okay so tapos na.
Magaan na ang pakiramdaman ko at medyo nagugutom na ko for merienda. Sa totoo lang, habang sinusulat ko ito, naguilty ako bigla sa ibang habits ko. Inuulit ko, hindi ako perfect student. But that's a start right there. Ang unang step ng scientific method is to identify the problem, right? Well I hope I will get better and for all of us as well.
Last words ko lang, gustung-gusto ko talaga matuto at mag-aral and i'm sure maraming ibang estudyanteng katulad ko. Please don't spoil that for me (ang demanding ko naman haha) rather for everyone. College is the place where we're supposed to learn all the necessary skills and knowledge before we become professionals, and I guess it's the best place where we should learn work manners. We should be more responsible of our actions and be more aware of the fact that our actions affect others as well.

In Denial of an Illusion

March 1, 2012

Did you ever get the feeling of knowing something was going to happen, something you didn't like and something you have no power over, but you always said to yourself that "It's not going to happen yet"? Like, it's somewhere off far into the future. 

And before you know it, it already happened. 

Let's make it more specific,

Did you ever get the feeling of knowing that you were to lose something and all that while, you said to yourself: "It's not going to happen YET",

and before you know it, you already lost it. 

And then, you begin to think that you've wasted so much time being in denial of the fact that it was slowly inching away. 

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I realized something recently: I was clinging on to the illusion of thinking that nothing would change YET, with how my barkada was. And before I knew it, things had already changed. 

Somehow, I guess, you could say I'm pretty immature. I really held on to the dream of having them with me all throughout college (and, perhaps, subconsciously, for life). 

Perhaps, inside, really, I didn't want change. I wanted things to stay the same, that we were going to be the same crazy bunch, without any intervention from whatever person/thing. 

Merry Christmas! (to those of families like mine)

On Christmas Day, Family and the Irresponsibility of the Society

By Abba Marie Moreno

Christmas day is about the birth of Christ, the savior of us all. Although his birth was most likely in the months of March and April, the Vatican declared its celebration to be on the 25^th of December—in time for the pagan celebrations, to facilitate immediate adaptation for converts. Christmas is about celebrating Christ: rekindling the Christianity in each of us we tend to take for granted the rest of the 364 days of the year (although we should really stop doing that).

Like everything else in the world, Christmas is one of the most commercialized holidays in the world—thank you Modern Society! We celebrate Christmas through shopping, gifts, trees (for fulfilling a pagan tradition), decorations, stockings, chestnuts, ham, etcetera, etcetera. And with commercialization, Society has never failed to ‘brand’ things, ‘label’ them (a very likely marketing strategy, or perhaps sharing a common mental construct helps Society to stay together). Christmas has always been associated with: Christ (obviously, and Christianity, of course), Trees, Carols, Sharing, Giving, Santa Claus (I still don’t get why), Elves, Reindeer, Snow (for other countries) and many other things—but I want to focus on one particular label we associate with Christmas: family.

 

Society spreads the idea of having one’s family complete and happy during Christmas:

“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree:  the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.”  --Burton Hillis

There are tons of quotes in respective Hallmark cards about how family (though physically apart or together) is supposed to be during Christmas. A family should strive to be complete during this day. A family should enjoy each other’s company, the gifts are only secondary. A family should forget all their problems and forgive one another during Christmas. And for the most part, Christmas is meant to be celebrated with your family. Society encourages that, if not demands it.

Don’t get me wrong though, I totally support the idea they’re getting through. Jesus was born into a loving family on that day, why not celebrate it as a family too? I’m for it.

It’s just that I find it very irresponsible in the part of our Society to keep its paradigm on Christmas-and-family after all the change it has ushered (if not demanded) into the modern times. Between 1971 and 2011, certain European countries have finally legalized Divorce (leaving only the Philippines and the Vatican City in the globe without divorce procedures). For those who fear breaking a commitment, Society offered Annulment and Legal Separation. Since 1973, abortion has been legal in the US. Most of Europe and key countries in Asia have it abortion also legalized (others with special circumstances). (And, yes, I do acknowledge the fact that these methods may have improved the lives of others, just hear me out bros.)

Forty-percent of the children in the US grew up (will grow up) without a father: so says the website I just checked out.

What I’m trying to say is that: after making available these opportunities to break up families, how can Society remain inconsiderate? I’ve never seen a Hallmark card for a single parent or for a child with divorced parents. Okay, fine, it is a bit selfish and biased but hey, what do you think forty-percent of children in the US will feel after seeing a Christmas card with a picture of a complete family? Most children will get over it after a few years, but the initial sadness will always be there: I don’t belong to a normal family. Thoughts like: Christmas is about family, we should be together, but Dad is away.

I know that the Broken-family-type is a minority in the population, causing change for them is unnecessary, if not unreasonable: most families are, well, not broken. I’m not asking for anything either, I’m not really sure whether specialized Hallmark cards is for the best. It’s just that I find it so unfair: how Christmas is enjoyed by almost everyone else and I can’t. (Yes, this is not an objective view of the topic discussed.) Everyone says these things about having complete and happy families—but what if you don’t belong to one? Is your Christmas less than theirs? Sociologically, I’m afraid yes. Society (its greetings, its Christmas cards, billboards, posters) is very inconsiderate of us unfortunate few.

I’ll go back to the first lines I wrote: Christmas is about Christ, about celebrating His birth in your heart. As long as you’re celebrating Christmas as it really is, there is nothing to feel bad about.

Merry Christmas, regardless if your family is complete or not. :)

Leo (my version of 'Aquarius' by Spektor)

Leo

By Abba Marie Moreno

(A version of ‘Aquarius’ by Regina Spektor)

 

Dear someone listening in the shadows,

I only talk to you sometimes

And though I ask for help in riddles

It is clearer in my mind,

Clearer in my mind.

 

Born of a sign that roars in fire,

But in a month that’s always silent.

I know I don’t question things too quickly,

But I’ve always questioned if I’ve loved,

Loved.

 

Dear someone watching from the shadows,

I’m hunting down my dreams.

I’ve held my chin up high and proud,

But there is something that’s amiss,

Something that’s amiss.

 

Born of a sign that roars in fire,

But in a month that whispers silence.

And though I don’t question things too quickly,

I’ve always wondered if I’ve loved,

Wondered if I’ve loved.

 

Dear someone watching in the shadows,

You’ve seen me roar alone once more,

I’m not the gentlest of all creatures,

Because there’s something I’m fighting for,

Someone I’m fighting for.

 

Born of a sign that roars of pride,

But in a month that whispers silence.

I’m not the gentlest of all creatures,

But I’ll be tamed by only love.

I’m not the gentlest of all creatures,

But I’ll be tamed by only love,

Tamed by only love,

Love. 

I Love You Like No Other (Poem)

I Love You Like No Other

By Abba Marie Moreno

___ ______ __ ____ _______,

__ _____ __ _________ _____.

_ ___’_ ____ __ ____ ___ ____.

_ ____ ___ ____ __ _____.

 

_ ___’_ ______ ____ ___ ____

__ ____ ____, ___ _’_ ____ ____:

____ __ ___ ____ ___ _ ___ ___,

_ ____ ___ ____ __ _____.

 

____ ____ __ ______ ___,

___ ___ _ ____ ______ ______.

___ ____ __ ___ ____ ___,

_ ___ ____ _____ ___:

_ ____ ___. 

 

(I could always pick out

the words, without a doubt,

what my feelings were all about,

but this, a yesterday’s without,

 

leaves this poem wordless.) 

In Response.

“Gusto kitang sagipin.

kahit delikado. 

Mahal kasi kita. 

Mahal na mahal.

na mahal.”

 

“Ako si Duwag. Ikaw si Matulin. (padalus-dalos)

Ako ay kayang maging si Matapang para sa yo-

si Mabilis, si Malakas, si Maganda, si Matalino,

si Marangya, si Makulit, si Maaasahan.

Ang tulin mo kasi eh. Bakit ka ganyan?

Mahal na mahal

na mahal

na tuloy kita.”

 

“Dumidilim na yata, 

Alam mong takot ako sa dilim. 

-dahil ako nga si Duwag. 

Baka tamaan tayo ng kidlat. 

Lalo ka na. Mahal pa naman kita.”

 

“Kumapit ka nga sa puso ko,  iyan iaabot ko.

Huwag ka sanang makulit sa pagkakataong to.”

 

All quoted from a love letter of a friend.

I read the letter five times, I think. And I cried 3 out of the 5 times. Never mind the who’s involved in the letter. I cried because of the purity of the emotion, the familiarity of the feeling, the love I’ve lost to precaution. The words the writer used: they were the words of a madman crazy in love—no precaution, no walls, no fallbacks: I am in love (period!)

 

I cried, perhaps, because it seems that I have lost the ability to be head-over-heels in love with somebody. It’s been all do’s-and-don’ts, checklists, labels, what to avoid, what to prevent: measures to ensure my heart stays intact. Pero look at what the letter says:

“Kumapit ka nga sa puso ko,  iyan iaabot ko,”

 That is what I had before. It’s not stupid when the person who hands out his heart knows the consequences. It’s total surrender. It is, perhaps, love.

 

I lost all my Romance to Reality.

And what is a poet of love, without his romance?

 

 

 

Ang Igneous Rock Theory ng Pag-ibig

Ang Igneous Rock Theory ng Pag-ibig

Igneous rocks can be classified according to where they are formed: within the earth’s crust (intrusive) and outside the earth’s crust (extrusive).

Intrusive igneous rocks are characterized by large crystals as they are slowly cooled within the earth’s crust. They are coarse-grained: visible crystalline structure. Extrusive igneous rocks, on the other hand, are quickly cooled because of the contact with cool air or water; thus, they are fine-grained (non-visible crystalline structure).

 

*At ‘yan ang ilan sa natatandaan ko sa Earth Science ko noong high school. :)) And I guess, hinihintay niyo na kung paano ko ito i-rerelate sa pag-ibig. =)) (at baka sa huli ko na gawin yun)

Sa personal experience ko bilang nilalang dito sa lupang ibabaw, masasabi ko na maraming forms ng pag-ibig (at oo, alam nating lahat yun). Pero ang gusto kong talakayin dito ay ang friendship love, romantic love at pro-romantic love (yes, bagong term ko yan).

Friendship love and romantic love are pretty straightforward—yung isa para sa pinakamamahal niyong mga ka-tropa at yung latter ay para sa taong gusto mong makasama habang buhay bilang lover.

 

Ano ang pro-romantic love?

Pro-romantic love is short for “prospective romantic love”. Ito yung tipo ng “pag-ibig” o damdamin na sinasabing “uy, mukhang may potensyal to, kilalanin pa natin”. And there, you have an intention. Intentions come with expectations (in checklists may be). Expectations come from selfishness and too much (I don’t know how much) selfishness hinders “true romantic love”. Ito siguro yung “infatuation phase” or yung mga crush-crush, MU-MU. To emphasize, pro-romantic love starts with an intention.

 

On another note, romantic love cannot have started to exist by itself between two people (as with all forms of love, I guess). Sabihin na lang natin na ang maaaring precursor ng romantic love are (but not limited to): friendship love and pro-romantic love.

 

Okay, Abba, so anong masasabi mo sa pro-romantic love?

Hmm nag-isip-isip ako kaninang madaling araw at kagabi tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay. (At dahil napanood ko si Barney at Robin sa How I Met Your Mother) Napaisip ako na mas magandang pundasyon ang friendship love (shortcut na natin to FL) kaysa sa pro-romantic love (PL).

 

Okay, Abba, so saan pumapasok ang Igneous rocks dito?

Isipin nating parehong magma ang FL at PL. Yung magma na lalabas sa earth’s crust ay PL at yung magma na mananatili sa loob ng lupa ay FL. So extrusive: PL; at intrusive: FL.

 

 

Extrusive (Volcanic) Igneous Rocks

Magsisimula muna ako sa PL. Like I said, ang PL ay may intention kaagad. You want to get to know this person more because it looks like you can get something out of it (wag kayong magdeny na hindi ito totoo). Siguro, maganda siya, mabait siya, ideal niyong bf/gf. And you try to get closer just to see if there’s something there. And from getting to know that person, it goes two ways: (1) You find you like her/his personality or (2) you get turned off by something you find out (at this point baka mag-on na kayo tapos mag-aaway kayo dahil sa “irreconcilable differences” at later on, magbbreak; with the assumption nga lang na hindi lahat ng relationships ay may RL).

 

So parang magma (RL potential) yan na naging intention mong ilabas sa lupa (lava na ang tawag kapag nasa labas na ng lupa) para magcool para maging bato. Finely-grained siya: mahirap icharacterize ang crystalline structure. Saan ba to galing? Composition? Paano nagform? Medyo tricky ang simula (nauuna ang intention bago ang getting-to-know-each-other), pero kung umabot sa RL, okay na rin.   

 

Intrusive (Plutonic) Igneous Rocks

Ah, so FL na tayo. Ito ay marahil mas kilala bilang “Friends zone” or “Sister/brother zone”. Hindi ito nagsisimula sa kahit anong intention at minimal ang expectations ng FL (aba, basta mapagkakatiwalaan ka nang tunay). Ito yung tipo ng pag-ibig na: kilala mo na tong taong to, alam mo na lahat ng kalokohan nito, marami na kayong pinagdaanan at mahal mo siya bilang kaibigan. From here, this can go three ways: (1) mag-aaway kayo and/or mawawala ang FL, (2) you’ll stay as very good friends all your life and (3) marerealize mo na you want to spend your life with this person at mapupunta sa classic dilemma na “mas importante ba ang friendship namin?” (dito pa lang papasok ang intention: parang yung mga magiiloveyou sa kabarkada tapos masisira yung friendship because “I see you as a friend…” na drama)

 

So same thing, magma (RL potential) na nasa loob ng lupa, na napakatagal bago magcool down. Wala kang intention ilabas at madaliin, mababato ka nga lang sa kakahintay. Coarse-grained ang plutonic rocks. Madali silang icharacterize (at di ko alam kung ano talagang characterization na ginagawa ng mga geologist…). Kitang-kita ang pagform ng crystals, maaaring magkaroon ng vesicles (air packets na ang pangit tingnan sa bato), pero at least kita naman. So parang, kilalang-kilala mo tong taong to, at nagulat ka na lang na gusto mong i-level up ang FL mo.

 

Matinong Comparison ng Intrusive Igneous Rocks at Extrusive Igneous Rocks

1. Likelihood to form RL: So, kapag ang pathway ay patungo sa surface (extrusive at PL), mataas-taas ang probabilidad na maging bato nga. Mabilis ang cooling eh. Halos lahat naman ata ng lava nagiging bato. Ang problema nga lang ay anong klaseng bato ba yang nafform mo? Mabilis malagyan ng impurities ang minerals ng lava. Exposed sa surface, mabilis maweather. Same thing sa PL, one way or another may form ng RL na magagawa (pwede ring akalang RL). Prospective love, Crushes, MUs, mas madali silang pumasok into relationship mode kaysa sa FL (kumplikado ang proseso nun sa FL). Medyo mas concrete ang pathway ng PL, kasi nga may concrete intention na ipinepresent. Ang magma naman na nasa ilalim ng lupa, hindi lahat yan magcocool, hindi lahat magiging bato eventually.
2. Time it takes to cool – Ah, malamang mas mabilis ang extrusive kaysa sa intrusive. Like I said, may external forces na sa extrusive (mas maccool sila ng tubig/air). Same thing sa PL (give it a year or a few months at posible maging kayo na), since may intention na nga, may alam na kayong direction na gusto niyong tahakin. Sa FL naman, wala pang intention at kahit ano, tipong “let our friendship grow” kind of phase. Lilipas ang taon bago mo marealize na “crush” mo pala siya. At medyo mas kumplikado ang pagpasok sa relationship mode.
3. Getting-to-know and Intention – Sa PL, nauuna ang intention bago ang getting-to-know. Sa FL, nauuna ang getting-to-know bago ang intention. Expectations come with intentions, so ganun din.

 

So, Abba, anong point mo?

(di na ko gagamit ng geology references, nakakapagod na)

 

Ang point ko ay…

Dati kasi hindi ako super convinced na ang one of the best types of couples ay yung may foundation ng friendship (yung parang bestfriend). Alam niyo yung feeling na parang, everyone says it so it must be true kind of thing, ganun siguro yung naging disbelief ko. I mean, I never really thought about it up until last night. And the verdict is…

I agree.

 

So ayun ang Igneous rock theory ng pag-ibig. Actually, classification lang ata siya. Hmm, disclaimer: lahat ng sinulat ko tungkol sa teoryang ito ay galing lang sa personal experience ko. Tama siya para sa akin, pero bahala na kayo kung applicable sa buhay niyo. :))

 

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About Abba

 

Actually, parang yung FL pathway na lang yung gusto ko talaga. I’m not saying that the PL pathway doesn’t work for other people but, naffeel ko na it’s not for me. I know myself, and I’m the type of person na kapag may goal ako (“intention”) I do everything just to get to that goal. I become selfish. I become very computing sa mga actions na ginagawa ko. And, worst of all, I expect. (and yun siguro yung worst thing, expectations). Yun siguro yung pinakamalaking hindrance sa akin towards RL. Madaling madisappoint at madaling masaktan dahil sa expectations.

 

Ako, kung kilala niyo ko, I’m very attached to my dearest friends (the ones I trust my life with). Ako yung tipong kapag tinanong nila na tumalon ako sa building, malamang pag-iisipan ko pa kung oo or hindi, depende sa dahilan nila. And I realized, I don’t expect much from them. I don’t even expect to see/talk to them regularly. Just as long as may affirmation lang na magkaibigan kami, kuntento na ako. And I want to be there for them, for as long as I can. I love them very much.

 

Sa buong buhay ko, I’ve said “I love you” to five guys.

Two were PL classified.

Three were from FL.

The two from PL turned out that I sort of didn’t mean what I said, everything has changed between me and those two guys. And the ones from FL, I still say/I can say “I love you” up until now ‘cause we’re still friends (haha 4 years na ata yung dalawa dun).

I further realized that the “I love you” from PL is different from the “I love you” from FL. If it’s PL, it takes a lot of time and guts to say it. (Para bang mag-iisip ka pa na: totoo ba to? Anong mangyayari kapag sinabi ko to? Will things change? Sana mag-I love you too siya.) There is a lot of hesitation—because the initial expectation is afraid to be rejected into disappointment. On the other hand, the one from FL is entirely different. It feels like the most natural thing to say in the world. No hesitation, no expectation, it is merely expression of the wonders of the friendship we have and how they mean to me.

 

And siguro, yun ang gusto ko. Ayokong maghesitate to say “I love you” to a person I love. Because one thing I learned from some experiences I had is that: if you can’t admit to yourself that you love that person, even if you do, you don’t. Hesitation, expectation, they all are hindrances towards love that is selfless and real.

 

Alam kong mahirap na magmahal ng kaibigan/kabarkada in that way (I’m not saying yun ang nararamdaman ko ngayon ah! =)) ), kasi kumplikado yan. Dadating pa yan sa point na baka magulo ang buong friendship niyo at yada-yada. Pero then again, what is love without risk? It all comes to that: taking a giant leap and hoping to fall into the arms of the right person.

 

So ang conclusion talaga nitong lahat ay: ayoko nang magsimula sa “prospect”. Gusto ko, kung maiinlove man, unexpected na lang within our friendship. Increased selfishness will follow after (it’s inevitable) but I guess the initial selflessness you have for this person might cancel it out. Expectations… well siguro mageexpect ka na lang kapag nasa relationship na kayo, kung wala pa, malamang alam mo na kung anong ieexpect mo =)) (magkaibigan kayo eh, dapat kilala mo na siya).

 

 

Cheers to those who dance to the melodies of the world’s romance.