GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaHhhhh(naubos ang space sa taas)
"I only show you what I want you to see
And keep my tttttongue in my cheek
If you see them laughing
Don't follow them,
Cause they're not part of my joke
I'll always be just who you want me to be
I keep my tttttongue in my cheek
A hopeless romantic
You'll never see
Cause you're not in on the joke."
~Cobra Starship
Okay, bakit ako nagquote ng kanta?
Wala lang, nagagandahan ako eh. LOLJK :))
Siyempre, hindi lang naman ako nagandahan lang. Medyo nakakarelate ako eh. Medyo. Sa ngayong point ng buhay ko, hindi ko na alam kung sino ako, hindi ko alam kung nasaan ako, at mas lalong hindi ko alam kung nasaan dapat ako.
Ganyan ang buhay, minsan alam mo, kalimitan, hindi.
Paano nga ba ako naka-relate? Hmm, para bang, sobrang naconcern ako sa kung paano ako kikilos sa harap ng ibang tao, eh yung mga tinatago kong mga emosyon na hindi mapurga, got me all fucked up. I've forgotten how to trust. and I dont seem like I want to (but I guess I have to). At some point, I worked so hard to keep myself from trusting other people. But, ironically, my world was built on trusting other people, so now, I don't know where I am, or who I am, or where I should be.
Right now, i think everyone's just using me.
Nobody cares (meron, onti).
And I shouldnt care, but I do.
Ako ata yung not in on the joke.
Everyone is okay. Everyone is smiling. I'm not.
I don't think I'm okay.
It seems like the world lost 75% of its romance to me.
Because no matter how much vulnerability you show to some people, how much trust you give them, there will always be some people that will hurt you. I used to think otherwise: just as long as you trust other people, they will trust you back and return the favor. As long as you'll be there for other people, they'll always be there for you too.
Expectation ba yun? Hmmm... oo nga no, expectation ata. Well, i believe naman na kahit anong mangyari may mga taong mawawala sa buhay mo. Pero hindi naman ako naniniwala na lahat ng tao na sasaktan ka. Well yun ang paniniwala ko dati. Ewan ko na lang ngayon.
I went to see my friends from before. Things have changed. Theyre there for me, yes. But just most of the time, I don't even know what theyre talking about anymore. No complaints, thinking about the distance, it's bound to happen. But it's just, the more time that passes by, unti-unti akong mawawala pagkasama ko sila. Di kami makakarelate, maOOP ako.
At sa punto na yun, wala na akong matatakbuhan.
Unless:
Sumama ako sa kanila.
Or magtiwala ako sa iba pa.
Nababaliw na ata ako, hindi ako makapagdesisyon.
I don't know about the romance anymore. The trust, the going-aways.
All I know now is the pain I've gone through/am going through. The confusion.
I'm pretty sure I'll die young.
Ewan. Sobrang emo na ba? Hirap kasi ng buhay ko eh. Ngiti-ngiti lang. Ngiti-ngiti.
